Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom..vs. Stay at Home Working Mom

   There's been a lot of hype in the media lately over the ridiculous comment made in the political arena about the "Stay at Home Mom who's never worked a day in her life."  I know, right?  Anyone who would even think those words much less utter them aloud...ESPECIALLY in front of a live microphone, running camera, or within 1,000 miles of a reporter could not possibly have ever had the "pleasure" of managing the family homestead  or does not have the proper amount of  fear for what a Mom under extreme duress can do with a carton of eggs, a broom, and a very good batting average.  What with all of the spilled Cheerios needing to be swept up, dirty laundry to be sorted, washed, dried and put away, dishes with food caked on needing to be washed, dried, and put away, poopy diapers to be attended to, potty training bottoms to be cleaned, and every room in the house needing to be dusted, mopped, disinfected and (haha) maintained- well, there isn't a lot of free time left to "work."

  However, never being one to back down from a challenge and always being one to look for ways to express the inner creative self that screams, cries, and throws tantrums to be let out... I recently decided to accept an offer to do that "all important work" that validates us- I guess the politician must have meant the kind you get paid for as opposed to the kind that's NECESSARY AND HELPED "SAID POLITICIAN" GET WHERE THEY ARE --(wouldn't their mom be proud to have been asessed that way??):/  I digress..  Anyway, so I was on a conference call with a colleague when my 1yr. old daughter who's woken up from her nap way too early and in such a cute and delightful mood starts singing, "Tinka, tinka ittol stah (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) very close to the phone's mouthpiece.  It's only when my sweet songster begins to belt out Haaaappeee Baday tooo dooo followed by a rousing chorus of "I waaaaa caaaandeee" (her brother just got the movie HOP) that I hear giggling coming through the other end of the phone.  I don't know that I'll ever be taken seriously again...  This is life...MY life anyway.  Perhaps I can hide the fact that I'm doing business in sweatpants and cozy slippers...but I can't conceal that I am a busy mom who loves her family and is devoted to them...yet still has a whole heap of (I never know what to call it...) but it feels like a ball of ideas mixed with lightning, paint, and a dash of tornado- to offer the world.
  Hmmmm, maybe there is no such thing as a "cookie cutter" Mom/parent- that we don't HAVE to fit into a mold that works for someone else?  Could it be that we truly are individuals and can exist in a way that fits our personal life- free of judging others and being judged by peers or onlookers?  Maybe the judgements will remain..but I could always work on focusing on what is good for my family-which includes what is good for Mama (moi).  And following that thought through...What is GOOD for Mama is GOOD for the family.  Breaking free of self imposed boundaries and accepting that I can still offer value- NOT INSPITE of my family- but AS PART of my family- THIS IS WHO I AM...and therefore that breaks down all preconceived notions of who these other stay at home, or working...or working from home parents are...Hey, we are all in this together...let's encourage one another to embrace who we really are and not prey on each others weaknesses but offer support for strength in those less than stellar parenting or professional moments.
  So, my precious, little one-year old- sing on!  I know I can't keep saying, "hush!" or, "later!"...because time waits for no one.  And that means your Mama too. I can't keep saying, "hush!" or "later!" to what needs to be sent out for someone who could be encouraged by it...we are all just trying to do our best...let's be gentle with one another!

Of a LIFE- Brief But Sweet!

Oh sweet son John Michael
Born three years ago
Alive on this earth
After two days did go...

You were flesh of our flesh.
And bone of our bone. 
Once housed in my womb
Now facing God's throne.

 I know, wrapped in His arms,
You are laughing out loud
And singing His glory
With that Heavenly crowd.

You see His pierced hands
Hear the Holy Spirit's Thunder
Does the Father's Deep Voice
Fill you with Joy and Wonder?

What's it like as you run
On the streets made of gold?
With your body so perfect
Just like we've been told!

I can hardly imagine
the glory you see...
Won't you please ask Dear Jesus
To help Daddy and me?

Share YOUR short story
of LIFE-brief but sweet
So HONORED we had
the BLESSING to meet!

We're sending up hugs
Please send us back one...
We love and we miss you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SON!

Justice...by "PINKIE"

Once upon a time in the not so distant past there lived a family of seven children under the loving care of their parents...

 One morning the eldest son (we shall call him Sir Grouch-a-lot) awoke to find that he had indeed overslept the royal wake-up call of his alarm.  His kind and devoted mother (we shall call her Queen Deserves the Respect of her Children but Does not Get-a-lot) went to gently nudge him out of his bed and into the shower.  Sir Grouch a-lot did a fair amount of mumbling and grumbling and stumbled into the royal bathroom whilst the rest of the family scurried about the palace (haha) to ready themselves for the 2 mile trip they would travel to see their beloved son/brother off on his very first "away battle" on the field of Lacrosse, in the neighboring village of Pittsburgh. 

The father in this tale (we shall name him King Good Hearted), was determined to see his son would arrive at the site of departure on-time AND with a full satchel of food to fill his belly (since this battle was determined to be a double header).  Suffice it to say there was a lot of roaring and bellowing within the palace walls due to Sir Grouch-a-lot having missed the royal wake up call and having several siblings (we shall NOT call them servants) underfoot during the preparation to depart. 

With the large blue 15 passenger chariot pulling out of the driveway onto the main thoroughfare, young Sir G. (we shall shorten this name to make him seem hip), bellowed at King Good Hearted, "Why are you going this way?!?!"  To which the good King responded through clenched teeth, "We are going to grab you a couple sub sandwiches and some royal Powerades."  The young prince Grouchy (nicknamed thus by his siblings- who are not servants...) forgot his princely demeanor and roared in return, "FORGET THE FOOD...WE ARE LATE!!!  TURN AROUND NOW!!"  The King continued on to the local Superette and "gently" slammed his chariot door as he trod towards the market.  The Queen, using her tone purposed for calming turned in her chariot throne to face her eldest son and remind him the family's efforts were for his sake.  She pointed out this stress would all be over within ten minutes and he would be on his way to battle with food to sustain him.  The young prince grouched and muttered and ordered his fellow passengers/siblings to "SHUT UP!"  However, the youngest Princess (aptly named Lady So Cute You want to Squeeze-a-lot) continued to address her eldest brother by name over and over until Sir G. would relent and say, "What?" and she would merely smile at him then begin calling his name to repeat the process.  The King returned with his purchases for his ungrateful son and tension filled the chariot.  The royal passengers were silent while the Queen suggested to her eldest son to tuck the morsels and drink into his backpack so that he could hop out of the chariot upon arrival.

Seven minutes (and one wrong parking lot) later the 15 passenger, dark blue chariot rolled across the cracked pavement of the departure lot in front of the assembled "battle-ready" soldiers (and some other bleary eyed parents). Sir Grouch a-lot barked out "Sorry,"  to the King as a means of apology and grumped out a "Bye..love you" then threw open the creaky chariot door and whipped around to climb down and out of the ride that had caught the attention of his fellow warriors.  Suddenly there was a collective gasp from the rest of the royal family as they caught site of something so horrendous and hilarious at the same time...

Sir Grouch-a-lot was striding towards his astonished peers with his baby sister's pink, fuzzy blanket which was trimmed with delicate pink satin, trailing from his backpack.  The Prince had accidentally zipped the very edge of his young sister's "Pinkie" into his bag as he loaded his lunch in a hurry!  The Queen could barely garble out a "Waaaitt..." while the young Prince did the confused dance of spinning around and around to see what his family was pointing to.  Of course as he turned the blanket would disappear from his view- like a dog chasing it's tail...

The mute look of horrified exasperation sent to his Royal Mother was a plea for death...or Ground- swallowing disappearance.  The royal punch from the Queen upon her King's muscled arm silenced the King's guffaws immediately as she pleaded through her own clenched teeth, "Not now-just wait!"  A loyal friend raced to help the prince untangle from the "enemy silky" and throw it back in the chariot.  The family bid farewell to their beloved Sir Grouch a-lot while wishing him "Good Luck".  The youngest charming princess clung to her "Pinkie" afraid it might disappear just as suddenly once again.

 As the big, blue chariot rolled away the stunned silence was shattered by the Queen's honking laughter.  The King joined in then each of the six remaining siblings added their own laughter to the chorus...Tears streamed down the Queen's cheeks and she begged "Mercy!," for she truly could not breathe- so strongly had her funny bone been tickled.   Once she regained her composure she slid her eyes in the direction of the King and whispered, "That was BLOG-ALICIOUS!...but I don't know if I could do that to him."  To which the King responded, "If you don't- I will!!"  And their peals of laughter trailed out behind them all the way home.

The End

Drum roll please...

 I am SOOO excited to introduce you to the wisdom, humor, and authentic goodness of a very dear friend of mine (and soon to be yours), Diane Gallagher.  She, too, is a mother of seven ... hey, didn't you know we travel in packs? 

“Diane, may I introduce you to the internet’s most savvy and brilliant blog followers?” 
(Pleasantries exchanged) 

“And now, dear Harborlily Creative Readers, hold onto your hats...or at least take cover as you gain an insider’s view into a lively household of seven, mostly redheaded, cute as they come, Irish/Polish kiddos.”

Diane will be joining us here every Wednesday come heck or high water … or kids with fevers over 104 degrees. She’s a woman who'd like to share her insights as she strives to live a life committed to God's Will for her marriage and family. Join us as Diane shares her joys, hopes, and her secret on how to make the perfect peanut butter with honey sandwich in our new blogger series. 

After reading Diane’s post, please be so kind as to COMMENT with topics you'd like discussed. Subjects as vague as "How to pray with kids," or as specific as, "I need help removing a stain on my child's altar serving garment that was soiled when the smell of incense caused my offspring to grow woozy and vomit before hitting his head whilst he collapsed from heat exhaustion on the altar."  In which case, it may be time for us to start a Prayer Intercessory column. ;)

Without further rambling ... I present to you our very first guest writer MRS. DIANE GALLAGHER! 

~ ~ ~ ~

It's been said that raising children is like building a cathedral: it takes years of hard work, but you may never see the results. "Cathedrals," you say?  I'm building cathedrals? That is both a relief and a little scary. My name is Diane Gallagher, and I am extremely busy these days building seven cathedrals. No wonder I am so exhausted!  Before I got into "construction", let me tell you a little bit more about me.

 I was a high school teacher, youth minister, retreat leader and chastity program
coordinator. I met my husband while serving on NET ministries, an evangelization program that sends teams across the United States to put on retreats for high school teens. I have to believe that through the past 13 years of construction, God has taught us some valuable lessons both through our failures and our successes about guilt-free parenting, marriage, sacrifice, peace and much, much more.  We are learning more every day (whether we want to or not. :)

I am excited to be writing a guest blog on Harborlily Creative. Since High school, I have enjoyed writing, journaling and creating ideas, but have not had much opportunity to tap into this lately.  Thanks to the gentle nudging of my dear friend, Susan Yurkewicz, I am finally exercising these muscles again and will be posting a weekly reflection. My goal is to offer encouragement and support by sharing my own experiences as a Catholic wife and mother in a sincere and honest manner.  I want to relate the Gospel message to our own daily walks as parents. If one thing I share can validate, reassure, or relieve a fellow parent, then my mission here is complete.

In the next month I am hoping to write about "celebrating" Holy Week with your family, spring cleaning (your house and your soul), and applying Christ's passion to our role as parents.  As Susan mentioned in her kind introduction, I welcome suggestions for future posts.  I do hope you will return!

Come Away with Me

    Another day has dawned and yesterdays troubles try to sneak in on a pink tinged cloud...  Gonna worry?  Nope.  Gonna fret?  Naah.
  The God Who created this universe and all of it's inhabitants is bigger than those nagging, wormy, sly, little frown makers.  His shoulders were meant to carry those burdens that tend to cause knots in my neck and stomach.  
  Throughout the day, and sometimes as I fall asleep, I will slip into a place of Peace with the One Who made me to ask Him, "What's going on? What am I to do?"  There are other times I simply sit with Him and enjoy the comfortable silence that can accompany the presence of a treasured loved one who knows all there is to know about me and loves me anyway.
  This PLACE of Peace, yes- in my mind- though just as vivid as my current house, is very real- in fact I visit there often.  In honesty I have a couple "getaways".  
  The view from the cliff side cave overlooking the ocean is breathtaking.  Jesus is very casual there as He tends the crackling fire with a long stick.  He and I also have a meeting destination on a certain garden bench which sits in the dim light of eventide.  Shadows that fall as long as the surrounding flora are cast by the soft glow of the moonlight that peeks through the lattice and cascading wisteria that winds it's way around the arbor. 
    Do you have a PLACE that you run to when the world is shouting and the Lord wants to whisper encouragement?  A hammock that fits just the two of you when you need rest from your cubicle, kids yelling and cupboard doors banging, or fume-filled bus ride home? ;A hut in the middle of the jungle that provides the basic shelter and privacy which allows the removal of all masks and baring of the soul?    
  If you'd allow me I'd like to make one suggestion:  make this special place personal.  That's it...only thing I'd insist on.  A place that feels right to you.  It may be more formal in the beginning if you are truly just getting to know God.  Originally, it might be very sparse and as time moves you closer to the REAL meeting it can be furnished with lavish decorative furniture.  The key to this place is ... are you ready for this? The KEY is His name.  Jesus.  Whispered or shouted, depending on the situation. will bring Him to your "together" PLACE (that's amazing in itself- the God of the Universe will answer His created being's call). 
  Take special care with this Key.  Use it only when You truly want His Presence.  You may find this whole Place thing silly...  I don't.  After all, while Jesus still walked among us He told us He was going away to prepare a PLACE for us. 
  God of wonder~ help us to seek You and Know You as You truly are.  Thank You for your encouragement as we walk our journey through this world that is not our Home.  Each unexpected Joy is a gift from You- open our eyes to each gift that it may not go unappreciated and we may utilize it to grow closer to You.  May Your Kingdom be an ever clearer reality to us and those we share it with- by Your grace.  Amen 

Time Is Fleeting

  Time IS fleeting... This thought struck me like a gentle 2x4 while I was pondering this blog and when I would next write. 

  Why am I waiting for the perfect inspiration to move me?  Or is it that I am afraid of imperfection?... Maybe I'm on to something here- I just erased and rewrote the start to this paragraph three times, "Yep, that must be it!  Wahoo, I love that eureka moment of clarity and discovery!"

  What if I mess up?  What if I spell a word wrong and spell check doesn't catch it?  Or, even worse, what if the thoughts I'm having sound foreign and strange to others.

  Then again, what if I don't write the thoughts and deeds that have inspired my choices in life?  What if it is a sentence or new perspective that helps a person, maybe even a stranger, get through their day or feel uplifted and encouraged.  I've heard it said that the successful creative artists out there are often not the best the world has to offer- they are the brave ones.  This thought resonates within me because I find myself holding back more often than not until I feel "comfortable" sharing.  I believe I need to steer more towards putting something out there because it's a reflection of where I am in life or what I am thinking/feeling and see if it resonates with others.  How do we know unless we try.

  "USE WHAT TALENTS YOU POSESS:  THE WOODS WOULD BE VERY SILENT IF NO BIRDS SANG EXCEPT THOSE THAT SANG BEST."  Unatrributed (although some give credit to Henry D. Thoreau and others credit Henry Van Dyke with this quote)

  The message behind this quote, no matter who wrote it, is fantastic- and true.  I believe God has so much to give this world through each of us.  Collectively we represent the diamond that God is...each of us reflecting a face of that diamond.  Each face is different, yet uniquely brilliant- showing a dimension of our Creator.  When the Son shines on that indiviual face His light will reflect in a shower of unique beauty.  Now imagine this world if every person dusted off their surface and allowed our unique talents and dimension of God to reflect from ourselves~ how bright, beautiful, colorful, and brilliant this world would be.

  Time is fleeting... not one of us knows how long we've been given to share our unique message and talents.  Let us be brave in our sharing, recognizing that anything done in Love will one day bear fruit.

** Please remember in prayer the hundreds of thousands brave people marching today to show support of each person's Right to Life!

Merry Christmas Season!

  Aaaaah...siiiigh...December 27th and I can finally sit around in my robe at 10:40 a.m. without panicking that there is wrapping, baking, visiting, to do.  Christmas eve was beautiful though busy~ We enjoyed parties on both sides of the family.  A highlight was the Christmas vigil Mass we celebrated between the two gatherings.  Our two eldest girls had joined the children's choir for the first time and were rewarded with solos and bell ringing.  We were rewarded with that warm fuzzy glow that accompanies any event in which your children shine.  It was especially touching that their sweet innocent voices were praising Baby Jesus!
  Onto Christmas morning... definitely glad that I took the time the night (well wee hours of the morning) before to prepare quiche and prep for breakfast.  The family really appreciated a full morning meal that had everyone around the table in good spirits...(my personal favorite part...well, that and the morning nap that followed:))
  Christmas night rolled around with my sister, brother-in-law, nephew and a big ham dinner. 
This truly was a filling day- fulfilling with the gift of our salvation wrapped in swaddling clothes, His Love shared through the family He's gifted me with, the food He provided, and the warmth that comes with acknowledging how Blessed I truly am. 
Merry Christmas one and all!  May the Joy of this season carry you through the Epiphany.  I thank God that Christmas is a whole Season...not just a day.  I continue to remind myself there are "peaks and valleys".    We've had our lows when kids are overtired and grouchy.  We've also experienced the peaks of rosey cheeked excitement that glow over mugs of hot chocolate.  The good and bad are part of the journey.   The journey is the focus...not one encapsulated moment.  Fortunately, I'm able to end this post on a peak!  My kids and there cousins are playing well.  Moods are stable and I'm still cozy in my robe with a mug of coffee.  I would, however, welcome any and all comments and encouragement for the darker moments when stocking raids have led to sugar melt downs and the "valley" of post holiday cheer seems to loom menacingly near... 
  I love knowing we are all in this together!  Enjoy your Peaks!

So Cozy!

    I've always had an unusual fondness for cloudy, rainy, stormy, bad weather days.  I used to think it was because on these days I often found myself cuddled up with a cup of tea and a good book.  Of course after children started coming along in my life I am more partial to a steaming cup of coffee.  Somewhere over the years a "good book" has morphed into an interesting magazine article due to time restrictions. 

  Time has revealed the reason behind the enjoyment I receive from these inclement weather days.  A large part is due to the cancellation of my "To Do" list. 

  Oh darn... it's not sunny out, I guess I should break out the paints and a blank canvas.  Oh noooo... a snow storm...siiiigh, I guess we should light a fire and heat hot chocolate while we sift through family photos and create an album ;)

  Ultimately, ugly days provide the permission to "play indoors".  To dream the dreams and let creativity flow...

  Sometimes it's enough for me to watch as my children create sopping wet roses and poppies, big brown blobby puppies, and paintings that, in their eyes, clearly rival Michelangelo and Renoir. (I truly have these very works drying on my dining room table now...it was a gusty weekend with some showers).  Other times I too, must break out the crayons and clay and let myself play~ unhindered by adult "supposed to and shoulds"...

  The rain has always helped living things grow...I wonder why it's taken me this long to understand that meant creativity too!