Happy Birth-ing Day Mom!

It's my birthday...Yay to the past 43 years I've been on this Earth! 

It's my BIRTH day... an ode to the mother who pushed through the contractions, pain, and terrific storm that blew into the Cleveland area during the hours of my arrival to greet, kiss, and welcome her fifth born child.

  Mom...Mommy...Mother...Mama... you have the gift of Joy that enables you to see Faith when others see failure.  You are the mother of twelve children and you cherished us as greater than any physical wealth that could have lined your pockets, adorned your neck, ears, or fingers with costly jewels.  You valued LIFE above all the stress that could come with adding another to your table, home, or already packed station wagon... For this,  I thank you. You offered me my breath in order that I may fill my lungs with the hope of eternal life.  You fashioned my legs, hands, and feet that I may travel through this life bringing a bit of joy, sustenance, and comfort to others that I will interact with throughout my own existence.  You could have easily stopped being open to life after the first, second, third, or fourth child...and even after my own birth...yet you allowed twelve children to grow within your heart and home always knowing there was a greater plan than the thought of your own comfort.  You even gifted us with three more souls in Heaven that would pray for us to be able to one day meet them since they were to only see your womb before being called home.  How does one give thanks for something so grand as the opportunity to gaze upon stars, learn from the hardships and hilarities of a huge family, swim in oceans, lakes, and ponds, meet thousands of people from around the globe, drink in glorious sunsets, marvel at the moonlight, slink through misty gardens, dance across a flower-laden field...revel in life-changing relationships, and ultimately offer new life to this world through my own gift of motherhood.

Mom, I don't know that I can ever properly fashion the correct words to let you know I am so very grateful for your willingness to generously offer the gift of life to your fifth-born child. As your fourth daughter I know that there has always been a press on you for your time- I am in awe of your talents to bring fun to every day as I face my day-to-day mothering of my own seven children.  Thank you for the gift of my life.  Thank you for the gift of Faith.  Thank you for loving me into my adult life.  I love you Mom.  Happy Birth-ing day!    

Prepare the Way (by guest blogger Diane Gallagher)

A girlfriend recently texted me to ask for ideas for family prayer as she felt her routine with her kids had become stale and humdrum.  My reply was “what family prayer?”  As we giggled about my response the next time I saw her, I admitted that I was not kidding.  We pray before meals, when we hear an ambulance (thanks to my 3 year old’s reminders) and before bed with the little ones as we tuck them in, but we have lost our commitment to designated family prayer time beyond these moments.  Oh, the aspirations and ideas I used to have! I could have compiled a book with all of my creative concoctions for celebrating the saints or acknowledging important feast days in the Church.  Unfortunately, I put very few into action.  Life gets so busy.  The evenings are chock full of homework, lessons, practices, dinner, baths, and packing lunches.  Prayers are muttered here and there, but often are sadly not prioritized.  There are two times of the year that we actually do a decent job of special family prayer:  Advent and Lent.  We just bought a beautiful new Advent wreath (50% off at Michael’s!) that I was excited to set up in the center of our kitchen table last weekend.  One of our favorite Advent traditions (thanks, Steph!) is to put an empty manger in the middle of our wreath.  Every night after we light our candles and sing “O Come, O Come Emmanuel,” each child shares a good deed they performed that day and puts a piece of yarn or cotton into the crib to make it more comfortable for Jesus after He is born.  I have toyed with the idea of removing a piece for every bad deed they do but decided that Advent is a good time to stay positive.  Sometimes my kids are excited to highlight a plethora of good deeds that they have done that day -- or even better, that they witnessed their siblings doing.  Other times, they struggle to even identify one.  “Did you help anyone today?” “No.” Have a good attitude?” “No.” “Share with anyone?” “No.” “Ok, did you have a nice thought about someone?”  Once in a while, they simply do not get to add to the “mattress pad” for Jesus.  I felt badly on Sunday when one of my children would not contribute a good deed because he did not feel he had done anything worthy of it.  I also was glad to see that he had a conscience and took it seriously.  Fortunately, they all usually have something to add or this exercise would get a little depressing.  Needless to say, it has become a helpful daily reminder for all of us. In fact, it is really something we should be doing all year.  It might even be beneficial if we only identified good deeds done with a positive attitude.  I admit, I don’t usually have a shortage of good deeds.  That is what most of my day consists of – doing acts of service for my family.  But I often don’t perform them with a cheerful heart.  This year, as we await the celebration of the birth of Emmanuel, hopefully we can fill our manger with an abundance of comfy cotton.  Even better?  That as the Christmas season fades into Ordinary Time, we keep that Advent Spirit alive – good deeds, focused prayer time and all.  

It Takes A Village (by Diane Gallagher)

(Guest Blogger Wednesday :)  In writing these reflections each week,  I take you with me on my journey of life which largely focuses on family and parenting these days. Today, I could not resist following up on a story from a previous blog. If you recall, I shared about my desire for my eldest son to develop an interest in Christian music.  I had scoured iTunes with him, sent him with my husband to a Christian music festival called Creation, and purchased some CDs all to wet his appetite.  Unfortunately, for as much as he enjoyed the festival and attempted to be open, he was not discovering a group or style that satisfied his musical tastes.  You can imagine my delight when he came home from school yesterday and excitedly told me to come to the computer with him.  He logged into YouTube and played a song for me called “God is Enough” by Lecrae.  He admitted that he was even considering downloading the song to his iPod.  I actually got choked up as I listened ... not because the song moved me to that extent but because God had reached out to my son in His own way and time.  And He did this through someone other than my husband or myself.  Ok, this might sound a bit extreme.  After all, it was just one song.  I am not saying Joseph went through a major conversion or anything that dramatic, but it was a good reminder for me that Joe is not just my son, but that he is even more importantly God’s son.  While I think that I have to be the one to influence my children in every area, I realized (once again) that it takes a village to raise a child.  Yes, my husband and I are going to play a big part in that, but God will use different people and situations as well to feed and form their souls.  I am so grateful to my son’s religion teacher who shared this song in class, and I am going to be sure to let her know that. 

Another reminder of this village concept occurred last week when my second oldest quoted something that his youth minister had said at a gathering the week before.  Not only did this assure me that he was listening but that he would actually apply what was said.   I can also remember times my children have mentioned the homily from their school Mass, a lesson from Vacation Bible School or a little gem they heard from their Grandparents.  This can be scary if our children are under the wrong influence, but when we are putting them in good hands, it is reassuring to know that we are not in this alone.  It is actually a great comfort for me as I continue to battle my inadequacies as a parent and recognize my limits and humanness.  As I have said before, I am more aware of my sinfulness now, as a parent, than ever before (that is if you overlook that period of time in high school and college when I went a little astray:) It is so good to be reminded that my children’s future is not just in my hands.  What a relief!  I do not mean to let parents off the hook here, but merely to provide some encouragement.  Whether it is through a religion teacher, a coach, a song or an experience, God will reach out to our children in His time.  The one thing I have been successful at in my parenting is continuing to pray for my children.  I might not do it as much as I want, but I attempt to lift each one of them up to God every day… praying for a litany of things including their teachers, their friends and anyone they encounter.   And always, always asking the Lord to have mercy on me when I fail in my parenting, and to make up (whatever I am not giving them that they need) where I lack.  I must be diligent in paying attention to whom my children are encountering on a daily basis, but then I pray and allow God to complete the mighty work He is doing in each of them, which will continue until the day they die.  A heartfelt thanks goes out to each of you reading this who have contributed to my children’s formation… by your words, your example and your interactions with them.  Be assured that I will do my best to “raise” your children as well.  Thank you, my village!

Peace In the Chaos (by Diane Gallagher)

Guest Blogger Wednesday. :) Baby is napping.  3 yr. old home from first day of preschool and watching Leap Frog.  It is quiet.  Wow!  I have not experienced this sensation at 1:40 pm in 3 months!  I must admit that I like it!  Don’t get me wrong:  I love my kids, and they each make me smile in different ways (and they each can make me crazy in different ways, too), but the chaos gets to me after a while.  Friends in and out the door, constant questions being asked or injuries being tended to.  Dirty clothes lying  on top of food wrappers, empty plates and cups (and some not so empty). Football games in the front yard and swim parties in the back.  Waldameer, the Zoo, the beach, family vacations, sleepovers and camp outs.  Extended family reunions and tennis lessons. Vacation Bible Schools, cookouts, Camp Notre Dame.  Soccer games (lots of them) , trips to the park and trips to Nana’s or Papa’s in Cleveland.  Ok, just writing all of that makes me feel a little better about the level of exhaustion my husband and I are both experiencing going into the school year.  Time to take a deep breath.  And so I find myself saying….”what next?”  I almost feel guilty that I don’t have a big agenda today.  My house is a big, post-summer disaster.  My laundry piles are the biggest they have ever been.  My grocery list is getting longer.  And I am sitting in my house writing my blog and enjoying the peace.  My big plan for today is washing my boys’ muddy football uniforms and making cookies for a nice after school treat in honor of their first day.  I guess I will make some dinner, too.  While I can feel guilty about not getting more done today, I know that it is good for me to slow down once in a while. 

My husband and I just had a lengthy conversation last night about what we can do to achieve more peace in our daily lives.  We have had many of these discussions over the past 14 years and don’t often see much change, but darn it, we will keep trying.  One concrete initiative we are making is to designate Wednesday evenings as our personal days.  We are going to take turns having time for whatever we want.  On my weeks, I can go grocery shopping, have coffee with friends, or go on a walk.  It is my choice, and I will not feel guilty about leaving.  Likewise, Jim will have the alternating weeks to do what he wants, guilt-free.  We are both craving quiet and peace… things that are not running rampant in the Gallagher household.  Having 7 kids, we need to accept the fact that quiet and peace are not going to be common at this stage in our life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to give each other little snippets of this now and then.  I need to get back into my early morning routine of waking before the kids and taking some quiet time with God and my cup of coffee.  Those quiet moments before the kids arise are so important to my sanity for the day. 

Both of these efforts in finding peace are helpful, but I realize that what I also need to be better at is finding peace “in the chaos,” to quote a good friend of mine with 6 kids herself.  So often, I think I need to make changes or find time for myself … “and then I will be more peaceful.”  Yeah, that’s good and nice if I can get out twice a month, but wouldn’t it be even better if I could figure out how to bring peace right into the here and now?  Not just at 6 am or every other Wednesday?  My spiritual director has reminded that to have internal peace inside does not mean that everything is peaceful around me.  Taking deep breaths, muttering Hail Mary’s at a moment I might explode, turning on the music (see last week’s blog), taking the kids for a walk, tickling the ivories just for fun (that’s playing piano for those of you not in tune with musical jargon;), attending daily Mass,.  Peace is something we certainly all desire … in our hearts, in our families, in our world.  The more I can achieve internal peace, the better I will handle the turmoil around me.  Wouldn’t it be great if I could actually bring peace to those around me instead of contributing to the commotion with my high-spirited yelling and intense reactions.?  If I truly want our family to have a more peaceful home, I need to work on myself first… and hope that will have a ripple effect.  Yes, another character flaw to work on.  In the meantime, I think I will enjoy my final moments of external peace before the bus empties and my rambunctious students pour through the door with their overflowing folders, big appetites, busy agendas and eager expectations.  I will have that cup of coffee and pray that Hail Mary…. and be ready to be the most peaceful Mom on the bus route.  Here’s to a great… and peaceful… school year!

Eucharist (by Diane Gallagher)

(Guest blogger Wednesday:) We just returned from a wonderful family vacation with my parents, most of my siblings, and their families in the breathtaking Smokey Mountains.  What a week – lots of giggles tubing down the river, lots of exercise hiking in the mountains and biking through the coves, lots of sights to behold from waterfalls to bears.  There was zip-lining and white water rafting, go carting and dance parties (an impromptu music fest in the basement of our 35 person house). So much fun was had, but if I was going to be perfectly honest, one of the activities that I enjoyed / appreciated / looked forward to the most each day was daily Mass on the deck overlooking the mountains celebrated by my brother, Fr. Rich Toohey. I think one of the reasons this was such a treasured gift for me is because I don’t get to daily Mass at home these days.  This used to be part of my regular routine when I was single and even in the early days of my marriage.  It became a bigger challenge when I first had babies, but I would still get there a couple times a week.  Now I am lucky if I attend the Friday school liturgies in addition to Sunday Mass.  My attempts to get there were causing stress and tension so I realized a couple years ago that it may not be the season for this.  But I miss it.  There is something about the simplicity of daily Mass that I love…the smaller crowds, the quiet.  Most importantly, I miss receiving the daily Eucharist that nourishes my weary soul. 

I turn to so many other things to refresh me or keep me centered including good, old fashioned prayer,  exercise, fellowship, coffee, “the Voice,”J , but I don’t prioritize the Eucharist on a more frequent basis any more because it has become too hard.  Whatever happened to the ole “no pain, no gain” mentality?  It applies for my physical AND spiritual well being.  Our Tennessee vacation reminded me of this truth.  Receiving the Eucharist is absolutely the closest I can be to Jesus.  The more I receive Him, the more I can become like Him – and heaven knows (and my family knows) I need this transformation. 

I remember a friend of mine sharing that he had been in a state of depression.  He was a tough guy who did not seem prone to tears, but he admitted that he would be sitting on his bed staring at the wall and sobbing.  He didn't know why.  I can’t remember how long he suffered in this way or how he came to the next step… I just remember what he finally did that helped him crawl out of this hole.  He began to attend daily Mass.  Now I am not suggesting that Mass is a good luck charm that will outwardly solve all of our problems.  I do realize, however, that only the Lord who created me can truly give my heart what it needs for true peace and joy.  St. Augustine asserted that “my heart is restless until it rests in God.”  Sure, a glass of wine can be a nice balm at the end of a stressful day and a challenging workout on the elliptical can relieve my physical stress but nothing will bring me the long lasting peace and strength that Jesus gives me in the Eucharist.  I NEED to make this a priority in my life again.  Hopefully, by making this public, I will feel more accountable and actually make this a reality.  Being a huge fan of the Olympics, I enjoyed watching an interview with Michael Phelps yesterday after he broke the record for the number of Olympic medals received.  The newsman was focusing on the fact that Phelps did not train as hard these past 4 years and was consequently not receiving all gold medals as he had done in the past.  This struck me as I reflected on the Eucharist in preparing this blog.  I say that I want to be a good and holy wife and mother…but I don’t want to put the effort into the things that will allow me to do this.   I am grateful my brother gave me the gift of the daily Eucharist last week, and I hope that I can have the dedication to my vocation as those Olympic athletes have to theirs…..and do whatever I need to do, primarily to receive the Eucharist as often as possible, so that I can be the wife and mother God has created me to be.  No pain, no gain.

"A" For Effort (by Diane Gallagher)

Guest blogger Wednesday : )

Before the end of the school year, I went to an academic awards ceremony honoring the highest achievers in 5^th and 6^th grade children in each subject.  I admit that I was hesitant to make this ceremony a priority as I was uncertain if my boys would win.  Having the three little ones with me, I definitely make choices and don’t get to all of the school events.  Regardless, I chose to attend and was glad that my boys’ names were called a couple times for various acknowledgments (and the smiles on their faces when they looked over at me made the effort worth itJ).  What pleased me even more was that the staff was not just honoring those with highest achievement, but they also gave an award in each subject to those who made the greatest effort.  I am a sucker for effort.  Whether as a teacher back in my pre-“married with children” days or as a mother in my current state of life, I respond much better to a child who makes great effort but fails than I do to the one who does something half-heartedly and somehow achieves success. 

Now, as a mother I often feel like a total failure…sometimes because I lose my temper or I am unhappy about how I handle a situation, other times because my children do something embarrassing or thoughtless that could not possibly have happened if his/her mother was a good parent!   But as I reflected on the academic awards in effort, I found great solace.  I have always told my children and friends that while I may only receive a “D” in achievement as a parent, I most definitely get an “A” for effort.  My husband and I have tried more discipline plans, more chore charts, more prayer schedules than one could fathom.  We have read books (not always so helpful…refer to earlier blogJ), gone on diets or tried to determine what we need to do to improve ourselves so we can be better, more patient parents. I wake up early to pray and put on the armor of God before the battles begin each day. We have joined bible studies, implemented new strategies…all to be better parents or bring more peace/order/faithfulness/love to our family life.   But we forget to keep track of the chores, and we lose our temper when they delete our videos off our flipcam or smash our ipad (true stories), and we let them watch too much TV or play too much X-box sometimes.  Then there’s that cookie I let my 2 yr. old eat right before dinner because I just can’t handle one more tantrum.  Not so successful in the world’s eyes.  Fortunately, Mother Theresa reminded us that “God doesn’t ask us to be successful ... just faithful.”  So I will not give up, though I am tempted to sometimes.   I will appreciate those occasional successes when a parent tells me how well-mannered and kind my son is or one of them gets 1^st honors or wins the student council elections.  And I will try not to crawl into a hole when my neighbor calls to tell me my son was climbing on the roof of our house or my 2 yr. old is running around naked in the front yard. “God doesn’t ask us to be successful, just faithful.”  I am faithful.  I know He is pleased with my attempts in spite of my failures, and I do believe He would give me an “A” for effort (though I might have a checkmark next to conduct).  I guess there’s always room for improvement!

Enjoy Your Children (by Diane Gallagher)

Guest blogger Wednesday :)

“Enjoy your children!”  These were the gentle yet firm words spoken to me by my spiritual director on more than one occasion.  Enjoy them?  How the heck am I supposed to do that?  I can easily be exhausted by them…or frustrated… or embarrassed by them….or get angry with them.  But enjoy them?  I have to cook and clean and do laundry and homework and change diapers and go grocery shopping and tend sick kids and pay bills.  Just exactly when am I supposed to enjoy them?  Having a children ranging in age from 1 to 12 also provides a challenge.  How do I do fun things with them that will satisfy the entertainment meter of my 5 yr old glamour girl and my 12 yr old “air soft freak” as he calls himself?  An impossible task, or so it would seem.  The perfectionist in me wants to come up with creative activities to do with my kids so we can “enjoy” each other (I used to do this more often when I just had my 3 boys).  Now I have no energy for creative activities.  It seems I am so task oriented that I take every free moment to get more work done.  I actually have to force myself to sit down and “play” with my kids sometimes (other than night and naptime stories or walks to our neighborhood park).  I think this is partially because I set my standards for enjoyment too high.  I do not need to have an afternoon to go to a movie with my boys.  How about 10 minutes to talk while I am doing dishes and my 9 yr old is sharing about his latest dodge ball game in gym class.  Or 15 minutes to play one round of Candyland with my 3 and 5 yr olds instead of trying to carve out a couple hours to go to a princess dance party.  These bigger events can be fun and important too, but I don’t need to forego the small ones just because I am attempting to plan the bigger ones, which are much less frequent.  To me, enjoying my children means laughing with them, appreciating their good qualities and talents, taking time to just be with them and come to know them better.  I know I will be sad one day that I didn’t take time to do this more.  The dishes will always be there.   I am looking forward to taking a cake decorating class with my 11 yr. old son, but I also need to appreciate watching my 7 yr old blast her way down the soccer field and my 1 yr old waddle across our kitchen floor clutching a cereal box that is as big as she is.  Enjoyment comes in many forms and that is my challenge – to find ways to enjoy each one of my children every day even if that means peeking in their bedrooms at the end of a long day and smiling upon their sleeping faces.  After all, St. Therese said “does a parent love their children any less when they are sleeping?  No, sometimes even more!” 

Footnote:  It was the end of a long, busy day and I was finally sitting down with a glass of wine, my paper and pen.  I was actually going to attempt to write my blog a little early and in a peaceful environment!  I was about half way through when my 11 year old shuffled in the room and asked if he could sit on my lap.  My first reaction (sadly) was to say no because I wanted to finish my writing, and I was on a roll.  Before the words could come out of my mouth, I realized that this was an opportunity to put my money where my mouth is and to take a moment to enjoy my son.  He does not sit on my lap often as it is usually filled by my 1 yr. old, 3 yr old or 5 yr old.  This was a rare moment to cherish, not brush off.  So I put my paper and pen down and enjoyed 5 minutes snuggling and chatting with my son, and then he was ready to move on.  I am so glad I made the right choice… and writing this blog is what helped me make itJ

“Preach the Gospel always ... use words when necessary” (by Diane Gallagher)

Guest blogger Wednesday :) Many of you have probably heard the saying from St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach the gospel always.  Use words when necessary.”  I love this phrase probably because I am not a good debater.  I have great ideas in my head, but if I am caught off guard and challenged, my words get all muddled and I have a hard time articulating my thoughts.  So the idea that my actions can be a form of preaching is a great source of comfort (also a little scary when my actions are less than Christ-likeJ).  I was given a great gift last year when a friend of mine shared a story of how my actions positively impacted another, and I had no idea!  I was at an ice skating rink watching my 6 yr old when a stranger and I began to converse.  I was expecting my 7^th baby at the time … and the usual conversation took place:  “Oh…is this your 2^nd baby?”  To which I replied, “Not quite … it’s my 7^th.” This response usually evokes a range of reactions from “Wow!  How do you do it?” to “Do you know how this happens?”  or “Are you done now?” to “You’ve got your hands full!”  Most of the time, people are pretty positive and friendly regardless of their initial reaction … and this was no exception. The woman turned to her husband and said “did you hear that?  She is expecting her 7^th baby.”  We continued gabbing for a couple minutes, but it was not a long conversation as the girls were finishing their lesson.  We exchanged farewells, and I never thought of the conversation again.  I did not evangelize or say how great it is to have 7 kids…. I even felt a little guilty that I didn’t say more.  I simply shared that we didn’t necessarily plan it but were trying to be open ...  that my husband and I both came from larger families and liked it.  That’s all.  I didn’t quote scripture or the Catechism.  I was just myself. 

Months later I was talking to a friend of mine (not one I see or talk to often as she lives about ½ hr outside of Erie), and she told me a fun little story.   She has some friends who have a couple kids and who thought they were done, but had recently been struggling with this and wondering if they should be open to more.  They shared that they had been at an ice skating rink and met a woman who was pregnant with her 7^th child.  Surprisingly, our little conversation and meeting seemed to affect them, and they decided to try to have more babies.  My friend thought of me and asked the woman what I looked like.  When she discovered that it was me, she was quick to tell me about it.  I was so grateful that she shared this chain of events as my husband and I were a little overwhelmed with the idea of having a 7^th and were still adjusting to what this would mean.  It was refreshing and humbling to see that our situation could help another person/family.  God gave me that little gift to encourage and affirm me … that my witness goes a long way.  I don’t always have to be the most eloquent speaker or informed debater (though God certainly uses those gifts in other individuals) to share His light and message.  I do not often feel worthy as I am so aware of my own faults and weaknesses, but God uses me in spite of my sins. You never know how your actions or simple words might be just the gospel message that the stranger, family member or friend needed to see/hear.  “Preach the gospel always.  Use words when necessary.”  St. Francis, pray for us.

Better to Bless Than Impress (by Diane Gallagher)

Guest Blogger Wednesday :)

Phew… we made it!  We survived another busy weekend in the Gallagher household.  My 5^th and 6^th grade boys were playing the roles of Tweedle  Dee and Tweedle Dum in their school’s production of “Alice in Wonderland” so my in-laws were coming to town to watch the show.  To make the most of their visit, we hosted one of our combination birthday bashes. 

Since we have seven children, we have resorted to holding two family birthday parties a year – one in the Fall for our August, November and December “babies,” and one in the spring for our February, May (2) and June children.  Do not fear… we still honor the individual child on his/her actual birthday as immediate family but we hold off on the larger celebrations.  It works well (other than being a bi-annual drain on the pocketbook) because we consolidate gatherings and get more bang for our buck. 

To be honest, though, it takes a lot of motivation for me to host these events.  We have a large extended family, and we include some friends and godparents so it is rarely a small number.  We also like to provide a meal since our guests are so generous to our children.  It is the least we can do.  The problem this past week was that we had so many distractions -- I could not put the time and attention into the party and house preparation that I desire. 

We have established a tradition of allowing the kids to choose a cake design.  We have done footballs, Hello Kitty, race tracks, monster trucks, Sponge Bob, Winnie the Pooh, etc. Since I am not the most artistic person, I find a design that I can handle and do my best.  It is amazing what a butter knife and some skittles can do! J  My girls were requesting a princess crown cake while my boys wanted a repeat of the monster truck they had enjoyed years ago and were reminded of in a recent home video viewing.  As I put my schedule together for the week, I started to get panicky.  These cakes take a little time…when would I make them?  There were performances Thursday, Friday and Saturday, plus the card party I wrote about in last week’s blog.  Too much.  And what would my dinner menu consist of?  We like to offer new dishes instead of the same old standbys.  I perused the internet…nothing clicked.  More panic.  How was I going to pull this off?  I have not even mentioned the state of my house.  On top of all this, I also made two trips to the pediatrician during the week:  one child had an advanced bladder infection and one was suffering from chronic headaches.  Grocery shopping, laundry, purchasing makeup for dress rehearsal.  I like to put on a nice event, but this was a little too much for my sanity.  Both my mother-in-law, sister and mother had offered to help.  I knew I had support.  The main obstacle?  My pride. 

I want to appear like I have it all together (so far from the truth).  I like to make cakes that are admired by my children and others for being creative and fun (notice I did not say “beautiful” or “well done”).  I guess since I am a stay-at-home Mom, I find some fulfillment in being a good hostess.  Fortunately, God subtly reminded me that I needed to let go of these prideful tendencies and embrace the practical realities of our week.  I remember reading that it is better to bless than to impress.  This line has stuck with me for years.  I often forget to follow the wise advice, but am glad to be reminded of it. 

Will my children enjoy the party more because they have a princess cake?  Will the guests be better fed because the menu is original?  Will people enjoy their conversations more because my cupboards are scrubbed?  A friend once said, “as long as the bathroom is clean, no one really notices anything else.”  So goodbye monster truck cake, hello cupcakes frosted by my 5 yr. old.  My mother-in-law made her delicious macaroni and cheese while my mother provided her always reliable and yummy meatballs for subs.  The office door was closed so no one would get lost in the mounds of clutter in there but my front door was opened to the 50 family members and friends who graced our halls. 

Martha Stewart may not be calling to ask me to do an article on hosting a party, and Family Fun magazine may not want a photo shoot of my cupcakes, but I am optimistically hoping that everyone went away with full bellies and happy memories.  Yes – it IS better to bless than to impress.  I better keep that in mind in two weeks when we are hosting my 3^rd grader’s 1^st Communion bash. 

Justice...by "PINKIE"

Once upon a time in the not so distant past there lived a family of seven children under the loving care of their parents...

 One morning the eldest son (we shall call him Sir Grouch-a-lot) awoke to find that he had indeed overslept the royal wake-up call of his alarm.  His kind and devoted mother (we shall call her Queen Deserves the Respect of her Children but Does not Get-a-lot) went to gently nudge him out of his bed and into the shower.  Sir Grouch a-lot did a fair amount of mumbling and grumbling and stumbled into the royal bathroom whilst the rest of the family scurried about the palace (haha) to ready themselves for the 2 mile trip they would travel to see their beloved son/brother off on his very first "away battle" on the field of Lacrosse, in the neighboring village of Pittsburgh. 

The father in this tale (we shall name him King Good Hearted), was determined to see his son would arrive at the site of departure on-time AND with a full satchel of food to fill his belly (since this battle was determined to be a double header).  Suffice it to say there was a lot of roaring and bellowing within the palace walls due to Sir Grouch-a-lot having missed the royal wake up call and having several siblings (we shall NOT call them servants) underfoot during the preparation to depart. 

With the large blue 15 passenger chariot pulling out of the driveway onto the main thoroughfare, young Sir G. (we shall shorten this name to make him seem hip), bellowed at King Good Hearted, "Why are you going this way?!?!"  To which the good King responded through clenched teeth, "We are going to grab you a couple sub sandwiches and some royal Powerades."  The young prince Grouchy (nicknamed thus by his siblings- who are not servants...) forgot his princely demeanor and roared in return, "FORGET THE FOOD...WE ARE LATE!!!  TURN AROUND NOW!!"  The King continued on to the local Superette and "gently" slammed his chariot door as he trod towards the market.  The Queen, using her tone purposed for calming turned in her chariot throne to face her eldest son and remind him the family's efforts were for his sake.  She pointed out this stress would all be over within ten minutes and he would be on his way to battle with food to sustain him.  The young prince grouched and muttered and ordered his fellow passengers/siblings to "SHUT UP!"  However, the youngest Princess (aptly named Lady So Cute You want to Squeeze-a-lot) continued to address her eldest brother by name over and over until Sir G. would relent and say, "What?" and she would merely smile at him then begin calling his name to repeat the process.  The King returned with his purchases for his ungrateful son and tension filled the chariot.  The royal passengers were silent while the Queen suggested to her eldest son to tuck the morsels and drink into his backpack so that he could hop out of the chariot upon arrival.

Seven minutes (and one wrong parking lot) later the 15 passenger, dark blue chariot rolled across the cracked pavement of the departure lot in front of the assembled "battle-ready" soldiers (and some other bleary eyed parents). Sir Grouch a-lot barked out "Sorry,"  to the King as a means of apology and grumped out a "Bye..love you" then threw open the creaky chariot door and whipped around to climb down and out of the ride that had caught the attention of his fellow warriors.  Suddenly there was a collective gasp from the rest of the royal family as they caught site of something so horrendous and hilarious at the same time...

Sir Grouch-a-lot was striding towards his astonished peers with his baby sister's pink, fuzzy blanket which was trimmed with delicate pink satin, trailing from his backpack.  The Prince had accidentally zipped the very edge of his young sister's "Pinkie" into his bag as he loaded his lunch in a hurry!  The Queen could barely garble out a "Waaaitt..." while the young Prince did the confused dance of spinning around and around to see what his family was pointing to.  Of course as he turned the blanket would disappear from his view- like a dog chasing it's tail...

The mute look of horrified exasperation sent to his Royal Mother was a plea for death...or Ground- swallowing disappearance.  The royal punch from the Queen upon her King's muscled arm silenced the King's guffaws immediately as she pleaded through her own clenched teeth, "Not now-just wait!"  A loyal friend raced to help the prince untangle from the "enemy silky" and throw it back in the chariot.  The family bid farewell to their beloved Sir Grouch a-lot while wishing him "Good Luck".  The youngest charming princess clung to her "Pinkie" afraid it might disappear just as suddenly once again.

 As the big, blue chariot rolled away the stunned silence was shattered by the Queen's honking laughter.  The King joined in then each of the six remaining siblings added their own laughter to the chorus...Tears streamed down the Queen's cheeks and she begged "Mercy!," for she truly could not breathe- so strongly had her funny bone been tickled.   Once she regained her composure she slid her eyes in the direction of the King and whispered, "That was BLOG-ALICIOUS!...but I don't know if I could do that to him."  To which the King responded, "If you don't- I will!!"  And their peals of laughter trailed out behind them all the way home.

The End