It Takes A Village (by Diane Gallagher)

(Guest Blogger Wednesday :)  In writing these reflections each week,  I take you with me on my journey of life which largely focuses on family and parenting these days. Today, I could not resist following up on a story from a previous blog. If you recall, I shared about my desire for my eldest son to develop an interest in Christian music.  I had scoured iTunes with him, sent him with my husband to a Christian music festival called Creation, and purchased some CDs all to wet his appetite.  Unfortunately, for as much as he enjoyed the festival and attempted to be open, he was not discovering a group or style that satisfied his musical tastes.  You can imagine my delight when he came home from school yesterday and excitedly told me to come to the computer with him.  He logged into YouTube and played a song for me called “God is Enough” by Lecrae.  He admitted that he was even considering downloading the song to his iPod.  I actually got choked up as I listened ... not because the song moved me to that extent but because God had reached out to my son in His own way and time.  And He did this through someone other than my husband or myself.  Ok, this might sound a bit extreme.  After all, it was just one song.  I am not saying Joseph went through a major conversion or anything that dramatic, but it was a good reminder for me that Joe is not just my son, but that he is even more importantly God’s son.  While I think that I have to be the one to influence my children in every area, I realized (once again) that it takes a village to raise a child.  Yes, my husband and I are going to play a big part in that, but God will use different people and situations as well to feed and form their souls.  I am so grateful to my son’s religion teacher who shared this song in class, and I am going to be sure to let her know that. 

Another reminder of this village concept occurred last week when my second oldest quoted something that his youth minister had said at a gathering the week before.  Not only did this assure me that he was listening but that he would actually apply what was said.   I can also remember times my children have mentioned the homily from their school Mass, a lesson from Vacation Bible School or a little gem they heard from their Grandparents.  This can be scary if our children are under the wrong influence, but when we are putting them in good hands, it is reassuring to know that we are not in this alone.  It is actually a great comfort for me as I continue to battle my inadequacies as a parent and recognize my limits and humanness.  As I have said before, I am more aware of my sinfulness now, as a parent, than ever before (that is if you overlook that period of time in high school and college when I went a little astray:) It is so good to be reminded that my children’s future is not just in my hands.  What a relief!  I do not mean to let parents off the hook here, but merely to provide some encouragement.  Whether it is through a religion teacher, a coach, a song or an experience, God will reach out to our children in His time.  The one thing I have been successful at in my parenting is continuing to pray for my children.  I might not do it as much as I want, but I attempt to lift each one of them up to God every day… praying for a litany of things including their teachers, their friends and anyone they encounter.   And always, always asking the Lord to have mercy on me when I fail in my parenting, and to make up (whatever I am not giving them that they need) where I lack.  I must be diligent in paying attention to whom my children are encountering on a daily basis, but then I pray and allow God to complete the mighty work He is doing in each of them, which will continue until the day they die.  A heartfelt thanks goes out to each of you reading this who have contributed to my children’s formation… by your words, your example and your interactions with them.  Be assured that I will do my best to “raise” your children as well.  Thank you, my village!

The Power of Music (by Diane Gallagher)

Guest Blogger Wednesday. :)

“Dearly Beloved, We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.  Electric word, life.  It means forever, and that’s a mighty long time.”  So began the words of my brother’s homily at the wedding of our other brother.  Only the Prince fans in the congregation knew what the heck was happening.  The others just thought that Fr. Rich had completely lost it, especially when he loudly proclaimed, “and if de elevator tries to bring you down, go crazy – punch a higher floor.” Rich was making a connection between the marriage ceremony and my brother Jim’s fondness for Prince during his high school years.  It was a fun connection and certainly grabbed all of our attention.  Music has a way of doing that.  It stirs emotions, sparks memories, forms bonds, communicates ideas.   I have always been affected by music.  From my earliest days as a piano student to my junior high years in youth theater and my young adult attempts at leading music at Mass with my husband.  My tastes have spanned from Broadway Hits to Bobby Darrin, Loverboy to Billy Joel, Andrea Bocelli to Jason Mraz, and Newsboys to Toby Mac.  I have cried with my high school classmates at Prom while singing “The Greatest Love of All,” laughed to my husband and his good friend’s rendition of “If I Had a Million Dollars,” jumped and jammed to “Shine” with my fellow Net teammates (my ND friends could tell you about some other tunes by Modern English or the B52s that sure made me dance).  Just writing this brings a smile to my face. 

Why the sudden interest in music? The other day I was having one of my pity parties at the washing machine – feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, unheard, out of control.  I was carrying my iPhone with me after my workout and decided to continue to let the music play while I went on with my daily routine.  There I was, pouring my detergent, and “Pie Jesu”(pronounced “pee ay yay zoo”) by Sarah Brightman began to play.  This song gives me the chills from head to toe.  We’ve been going through some challenging transitions lately that have resulted in some bottled up emotions.  The haunting melody and powerful message of that song spoke to my soul and the cork came off.  I cried my eyes out – and it felt so good.  Therapeutic, really.  I continued to listen to my mix of secular and Christian hits and found myself smiling, tapping my feet…and in one of the best moods I had experienced in quite some time.  It dawned on me that I needed to make the effort to bring music into my life on a more regular basis.  Heck, it sure helped the bitter Captain Von Trapp in the Sound of Music (not so much, The Phantom “of the Opera”).  God has given us so many different ways of expressing ourselves and finding beauty.  St. Augustine says that “singing is praying twice.”  Powerful stuff.  I often don’t take the time to turn on the iPod or CD player and let the music work its magic.  It can do wonders for my grumpy soul.  It lifts me up, helps me commune with God, motivates me in my workouts and facilitates memorable family moments dancing in our kitchen, gathering around the bonfire, or lulling our babies to sleep.  I feel like God gave me a gentle reminder the other day of the ways He can comfort me and connect with me through music.  I am so grateful for that gift.  So don’t be surprised if you see me cruising the neighborhood in our 12 passenger van with the windows wide open and some heavy bass or opera pouring out.  It just means I probably heard one too many “Moooooooom”s that day or my toddler got silly putty on my new capris.  Sometimes I just need to turn up the volume and “go crazy!” (Though Prince would not be the artist of choice I would be listening to these days. :)

Into the wee hours of the night...

  Crickets chirping, fireflies floating, full moons hanging low over silhouetted trees, bonfires, campfires, marshmallows on fire- (yup...like mine black), these are just some of the treasures of a summer night.

  This summer has seen my eldest son teaching himself to play the guitar (acoustic- but just bought an electric...with an amp).  I have no complaints there- actually it's AWESOME to have music permeating the house, porch, and even the side yard on occasion.  And what's really a bonus is that he's very good;)  And I don't think that's just the "Mama Love" talkin'.

  Yesterday, my son revealed the result of a bunch of wadded up paper balls littering his bedroom floor- his first COMPOSITION (that was actually written out and planned.)  I loved it!!  I had seen his sample titles and knew he was going for a "Summer" kind of feel...so I, being the good mother and lover of words, immediately began to string a few lines together.  I was halfway through my second rendition, trying to demonstrate how cool it was to sing about our recent vacation to Cook Forest, when he said, "Mom, don't waste your breath.  I'm not trying to be mean but have you noticed most of your songs are for old people.  They kinda sound like John Denver."  Well, he couldn't have paid me a better compliment.  "John Denver is a total inspiration to me!" I responded, thrilled he had picked up a similar vibe between Mr. D and me.  "Yeah, Mom- uh, I know- that's what I mean."

  Whatever... He thinks I write like John Denver!! 

  Ok, I am well aware the general population won't admit their absolute respect and admiration for Mr. Denver's lyrical genius- I can handle that.  I don't mind being brave in my proclamation that J.D. (God rest His soul) was AWESOME, uplifting, and created a peaceful haven that allowed the beauty of nature to inspire listeners.  And THAT my friends is the essence of simplicity: to experience beauty then write about it.  Let the music flow to give background to what inspired the words.  Or write words to express the beauty that flows out through the lilting chords- it's all good!

  Back to my opening paragraph about the crickets etc... the simple joys and sounds of summer have been a balm for my soul during my hiatus from this blog.  Sure there's the distinct chaotic "music" that echos from our windows letting the neighbors know summer is here--that music being the bellows resembling a tuba, followed by loud clashes that could nearly sound like cymbals...yes, my children are not in school.  Yet, all symphonies need their orchestra Maestro.  And that being me- I've decided to treat that position with prestige.  Time to plan trips to the local nature center, bike rides through the park, lounging at the pool, and watermelon feasts to treat the sweet tooth.  I've been reconnecting with what my family needs- FUN!  And even as I'm writing into the wee hours of the night here...with the hum of the dishwasher vying for a seat in the cricket symphony I'm reflecting on this recent evening of "Game Night".  Tonight we had Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Siblings gathered round our large, oval, oak table playing the new game, PIT,  discovered during our week in Cook Forest.  If you are fond of games I recommend you go online and order this now- seriously- it's addictive- BUT I wasn't singing about it in my son's song...even I have boundaries. 

So, let me know:
                      1. If you are a John Denver fan (openly or secretive)
                      2.  Have you ever played Pit--do you LOVE it?
                   

Out of Control (by Diane Gallagher)

 Guest Blogger Wednesday :) The older my children get, the more I feel “out of control.”  Out of control of their preferences, their choice of friends, their bedrooms etc...  Granted, I still can “control” their actions by grounding them from x-box, tv, and other electronics, but I have very little to say about how they truly feel on the inside….and that is a scary feeling.  I look at their individual personalities, strengths and weaknesses and yes, I sometimes see Jim and I mirrored in them, for better or worse.  They also possess traits that neither Jim nor I exhibit, for better or worse.J  I suppose it is the whole nature vs. nurture phenomenon.  Even though my older children are only at the middle school/junior high level, they are beginning to develop crushes, particular tastes in music, and want to choose their own styles in clothing, etc.  It is so hard for me to shut my mouth and stifle the lectures as I desperately try to impose my preferences on them.  How challenging it is to let them be who God created them to be which may be very different from what I was expecting.  The whole process requires balance and prayer, as I’ve written in previous blogs, in order to determine which battles to fight, which causes are worth it, and which issues are salvation issues.

One small example of this is occurring in our household right now with my eldest son (I am fully aware that these issues get bigger as the kids grow up….can’t wait!)  He is a big music fan, often times preferring songs that would not be on the Christian music charts.  In fact, he is not really crazy about Christian music period, much to my disappointment.  I have purchased the WOW cd’s (a compilation of the top Christian hits of the years from various artists) so he could listen to a variety of music and scoured the iTunes store with him to try to come up with some songs he might like.  Unfortunately, he has found only one song that he has actually downloaded onto his iPod.  Our last ditch effort is coming up this weekend:  my husband, who is not a huge Christian music fan himself but sees the merit in it, is taking my three boys to the Creation Music Festival.  They will campout in our tent, eat over the fire, participate in some “extreme” sports – and listen to a plethora of Christian artists from every musical genre possible.  We figure that this might spark some greater interest in our boys, particularly our eldest, to see the musicians live in concert and get caught up in the festival hype.  Then it is time to let go.  Surrender.  It is out of our control. We have to allow our children to be themselves … not little Jim and Diane robots.  I realize that every parent will have a different limit that is between themselves, God and the child before they relinquish control.  “As long as you are living under my roof ” kind of thing.  It is so important to have those standards until our children reach adulthood.  The trick is to determine when we need to enforce and when we need to relinquish.  Forcing my son to “like” certain music is probably not going to be very effective.  I can tell him he is not allowed to download music with bad language or messages and he may not watch music videos that are inappropriate, but I cannot force my musical tastes on him.  This is when I must remember that my children are only mine temporarily.  They are gifts from God for my husband and I to raise and nurture the best we can, but they are ultimately His.  I must entrust them to Him….easy to say but hard to do.  The more I let myself move out of the driver seat, the more I can relax as a passenger.  It’s actually quite freeing to be “out of control.” J

Drowning in muck...and Scones!

  Warm weather...soft breeze...peaceful and lilting Jazz tune (Earl Klugh) drifting in through my thoughts and dreams.  Can it get any better than this?  YES!

 How do I know...because this morning's news show told of murder, child abuse, war, lawsuits, and oh yeah- nice weather, "So, have a pleasant day!"  Admittedly, I have been absent from my postings because I have allowed myself to become enmeshed in the tragedies and heaviness of everyday life.  I have walked through this last week with the melancholy weight of the world on my shoulders (and I don't mean the excess fluff derived from my latest carb addiction:  Panera's Strawberries and Cream Scones oooooh la la..  Actually, I have tried to tame this craving~ Day 4 on Weight Watchers and going strong!  Yay yay yay...yes, I know I'm in the honeymoon phase of the ww program so I'm begging for any prayers or positive comments to encourage me- seriously!).
  Anyway...where was I?  Oh yes, scones- no! Weight...I've gained a lot...Weight of the world- yep- me trudging around feeling as though I must somehow fix myself, my kids, my ongoing renovation in and out of the house, the war, the upcoming election, the laundry pile that never goes away, the van that now squeals every time the brakes protest, the friends I haven't been getting back to, the dinner that still needs to be made, the gray that's showing on my right temple (no offense Georgina~ it's probably grown in the last week since I visited your salon...it's coming on at an alarming rate these days:/), and I will add only one more thing to the platter of "Everything going wrong," with a side of "I have no energy (probably from the sugary scones!)," that I carried around like an overworked waitress balancing a huge tray upon my shoulder.  That one thing is my distorted priorities.  "Wooop.. there, I hefted it up onto the tray".  Just like you, I've hunched over with eyes squeezed shut waiting for the inevitable CRAAASH...waaiting...still waiting...huh, nothin'.

  Wait a minute, what's that? A soft breeze?  Really?  Aaah yes, it feels so good, gently lifting my hair away from my face- almost a caress.  Let me throw some coffee down my throat to give me the clarity I need to make sure there's no thunderous clattering about to fall around me...No, hmmm, just a sunbeam filtering in through the open window drawing my eyes to the tree full of birds singing their hearts out across the street.  Enter in the soft Jazz music and I feel like I'm floating on a cloud of fresh perspective.  And what's this?  A plate of egg whites mixed with sauteed onions and fat free American cheese with half of a Panera Strawberries and cream scone...like Heaven on Earth- sort of- that soft breeze cooled the eggs while the birds sang to me- but I can deal with that while I enjoy my scone- in moderation. 

  I get it now...I sat down in my "illustrious studio" (I'll explain in a later post:) oh it's swanky!) to write~ but FIRST took the time to just sit.  It was in that moment of stillness that God sent a breeze as an offer to notice the beauty right in front of me.  He then caught my attention with song to lift my heart as He lifted the burdens from my shoulders and reminded me He never intended me to carry them.  "Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28 Ignatius Bible RSV).  I realized that our Creator didn't say "you will never be weary or burdened," but He reminded me to come to Him when I am. This isn't the first time I will make a determination to start my day with Him... but it is with renewed courage and hope that I do so.  My whole outlook on today already feels different. 

  For clarification I will say that music choice and scone flavor are up to your discretion...but Jazz is smooth and strawberries and cream rock...just sayin'.