“Enjoy your children!” These were the gentle yet firm words spoken to me by my spiritual director on more than one occasion. Enjoy them? How the heck am I supposed to do that? I can easily be exhausted by them…or frustrated… or embarrassed by them….or get angry with them. But enjoy them? I have to cook and clean and do laundry and homework and change diapers and go grocery shopping and tend sick kids and pay bills. Just exactly when am I supposed to enjoy them? Having a children ranging in age from 1 to 12 also provides a challenge. How do I do fun things with them that will satisfy the entertainment meter of my 5 yr old glamour girl and my 12 yr old “air soft freak” as he calls himself? An impossible task, or so it would seem. The perfectionist in me wants to come up with creative activities to do with my kids so we can “enjoy” each other (I used to do this more often when I just had my 3 boys). Now I have no energy for creative activities. It seems I am so task oriented that I take every free moment to get more work done. I actually have to force myself to sit down and “play” with my kids sometimes (other than night and naptime stories or walks to our neighborhood park). I think this is partially because I set my standards for enjoyment too high. I do not need to have an afternoon to go to a movie with my boys. How about 10 minutes to talk while I am doing dishes and my 9 yr old is sharing about his latest dodge ball game in gym class. Or 15 minutes to play one round of Candyland with my 3 and 5 yr olds instead of trying to carve out a couple hours to go to a princess dance party. These bigger events can be fun and important too, but I don’t need to forego the small ones just because I am attempting to plan the bigger ones, which are much less frequent. To me, enjoying my children means laughing with them, appreciating their good qualities and talents, taking time to just be with them and come to know them better. I know I will be sad one day that I didn’t take time to do this more. The dishes will always be there. I am looking forward to taking a cake decorating class with my 11 yr. old son, but I also need to appreciate watching my 7 yr old blast her way down the soccer field and my 1 yr old waddle across our kitchen floor clutching a cereal box that is as big as she is. Enjoyment comes in many forms and that is my challenge – to find ways to enjoy each one of my children every day even if that means peeking in their bedrooms at the end of a long day and smiling upon their sleeping faces. After all, St. Therese said “does a parent love their children any less when they are sleeping? No, sometimes even more!” Footnote: It was the end of a long, busy day and I was finally sitting down with a glass of wine, my paper and pen. I was actually going to attempt to write my blog a little early and in a peaceful environment! I was about half way through when my 11 year old shuffled in the room and asked if he could sit on my lap. My first reaction (sadly) was to say no because I wanted to finish my writing, and I was on a roll. Before the words could come out of my mouth, I realized that this was an opportunity to put my money where my mouth is and to take a moment to enjoy my son. He does not sit on my lap often as it is usually filled by my 1 yr. old, 3 yr old or 5 yr old. This was a rare moment to cherish, not brush off. So I put my paper and pen down and enjoyed 5 minutes snuggling and chatting with my son, and then he was ready to move on. I am so glad I made the right choice… and writing this blog is what helped me make itJ
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