"I've Got Your Back" (by Diane Gallagher)

Guest Blogger Wednesday :)

We were outside one humid Sunday – kids weeding the garden, tilling the soil, and getting ready to plant their seeds.  I was entertaining our baby so the others could focus when my husband called over, “did you put sunscreen on her?”  Overseeing sunscreen administration is not one of my strong suits which is a little surprising since I am a detail-oriented person who can easily get frustrated when Jim or the kids ignore the “little things.”  For some reason, I am all about sunscreen when we will be hanging around the pool for the day, but I neglect to tend to this when we are heading outside for an unknown period of time.  My husband, having overcome melanoma, is extremely diligent in this area so he rolled his eyes and smirked when I rushed over to get the bottle of Water Babies sitting nearby and quickly started lathering it on her.  I can get a little defensive in moments like this, but this time I was actually reminded of a story a wise and holy friend of mine once shared.  

She described a situation when her husband took care of something she had failed to do.  Instead of being annoyed with her, he was understanding and told her “he had her back.”  What a novel idea!  To look at our differences and instead of being frustrated or angry with our spouse’s opposite approach to a situation, we would appreciate and respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  I forget the sunscreen or break the vacuum belt three times in two months, and I don’t iron his shirts for work.  He offers gentle reminders or fixes the belt and irons the shirts.  On the other hand, he forgets to record his checks and receipts in my checkbook or doesn’t make the bed even when he is the last one up or leaves his shoes lying around the house, so I figure out the bank statement anyway, make the bed and put his shoes away.  Sometimes I need to repeat the mantra over and over:  “I’ve got his back.  I’ve got his back.”  It’s much easier to get annoyed and grumble about his failures or oversights, but where does that get me?  It is like adding gasoline to a fire  -- I grumble and it makes me more exasperated.  It certainly does not put the fire out.  However, adopting the attitude of a helpmate and reminding myself that these are not his strengths but they are mine does extinguish the fire.  This can apply to our relationships with our children as well.  Maybe I should begin each day not thinking about what I hope my husband and kids do for me, but what I can do to help them physically, emotionally and spiritually.  It’s amazing how just a  LITTLE mental shift can mean a BIG difference in a relationship.

Live It: Identify two areas where you have to cover your spouse's back and two where he/she has to cover yours.... and then try to have a positive attitude next time those differences come to light:)