Holidays bring Strength...without attending gym

  A beautiful Merry Christmas Season to you all!  We are in the phase of this holiday that brings a reminiscent picture to the mind of all that we had thought the festivity of this time of year might bring and are rounding the corner into a look forward at the New Year...

  This year I am reveling in the fact that we are rounding the corner...  Not gonna lie, the home run stretch of this calendar year has been grueling for my family.  My husband, Steve, hurt his back right around the time the scent of sharpened pencils filled the air and big yellow school buses were making a re-appearance after a long summer.  We went through a terrible crisis of not knowing if this injury was THE injury that would not only be the straw that broke the camel's back but might disable my husband's as well.  Time would reveal that his injury was acute and not permanent but his doctor would dictate it was time to find something less stressful on Steve's frame than construction company he spent thirteen years building.  Now, I don't want to focus on the fact that this was supposed to be MY year.  After seventeen years of rearing seven children my youngest was making her scholastic debut by beginning pre-school.  My family and friends had all asked, "Suz, what will you do with your time?" often enough that I had filled my mind with trips to the beach with easel and watercolors in tote, envisioned the toned physique that a free four-hour block five times a week could bring... if I hit the gym.  The possibilities were endless. 

  However, my life-experience should have prepared me for the tough road being paved over my field of dreams.  Don't get nervous-- I'm not going to have a pity party or throw a rant...I've already done that in private...buried under my covers...with a box of tissues....many times.  Yes, while my poor aching hubby's back rested on the couch while healing and his work truck was laid to rest until our eldest could devote his teen angst-driven energy to making it road-worthy I was chauffeur to all, nurse to hubby, and had become the go-to gal for whatever needed answered, mended, cooked, fixed, etc.  I have profound respect for the duties done by single parents.  In the meantime, our faithful Big Blue Chariot decided to pitch a fit and resign from it's duty of carting up to 15 passengers.  As a matter of fact, it flat out resigned without a moments notice and refused to carry even one passenger- which I felt was rude and insensitive.

  With the healing and career change research underway the pressure was mounting and I began to borrow some of the worry that had plagued my husband with sleepless nights.  Decisions needed to be made...life-changing, course-altering choices.  Perhaps that didn't appear to bring us to our knees so our beautiful children thought they could help with that and decided to act their ages...in this profoundly entitled culture.  Honestly, I can't even begin to share some of the "discussions" that I was subjected to...not necessarily involved in.  They did not get the "no rant memo."  I am pleasantly surprised I still have hair and the wrinkles that have been added to my face this year are deepened by loss of elasticity when one loses weight...that is a good thing right?  Lie to me.

  Anyway, interestingly enough...time does have a way of passing and bringing changes- like it or not.  You can be grateful I didn't drag you through the painful details on a daily basis but can announce that Steve did get a job with the City.  He's a few weeks into it so the awkward pangs of change are beginning to subside and he is chipper on most days when I pick him up in my NEW (to me) five passenger car!  I know right?  Dropping 10 passenger seats makes me feel like I'm slimming down in many areas of life. 

  I've learned first-hand and through real-life practicality that the season of Advent, which is the four weeks leading up to Christmas are a time of preparation and not a time to leap headfirst into the Christmas carols, and store ads.  An income-halting injury followed by a jobs lag in pay tends to "help" one focus on patience and preparation.  In retrospect, I can acknowledge these were GIFTS.  Admittedly- these dips and valleys in our journey are not phases we would CHOOSE... yet, as a wise priest said, "I think when you are elderly- you will look back on this time and be grateful for all that came out of these difficulties...it will take some time- probably when you are old and gray."  I appreciated that he acknowledged these WERE difficult times... as well as his assumption I would still have hair when I am old.  The adage seems to prove true: That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. With all this "resistance training" that has naturally occurred, perhaps having free time to spend in a gym is overrated after all ;)

Mindful Monday

Mindfulness...the word calls to me.  The meaning sings to my soul.  I'm not even sure what it means....fully.  But, I'm on the path to discovering how it will set me free yet keep me grounded at the same time.  I picture it to mean living in the moment, breathing in the possibilities that exist if you can just SEE them right before your clouded eyes.


  Funny how in my mind I frequent the question of "What would I get if I were to ever get a tattoo?"  Interesting...yet not so funny, is that I've considered the word MINDFUL on several occasions.  I think it'd be a great reminder to not let life pass by without marinating in the moment.  To really look at the little people calling, "Mom..Mama... Mommy... Mother... Moooom..." whilst tapping me on the arm as I'm trying to get dinner ready...ok- fine, checking my phone would be more accurate.  I've had the best days when I actually get down on my knees and look in those eyes.  Sometimes it takes them so much by surprise they forget what they were tapping me for in the first place.  I think they just like to say Mommommommommommommom til it's a rhythm in their head and doesn't even sound like a name- when they add the poke or tap that is their contribution to the world of interpretive dance.  It could mean, "I want a cookie, can I color my face with a marker, will you help me with my homework, where is my squirrel trap, can I go to Emma's, why are you laughing, can Brett come over, are you crying, did you know the dog is eating my cookie...can I have another one?"

  I believe being mindful is also about staying in communication with the gentle guiding that leads us throughout our day.  If we can do this we will have accomplished a greater purpose- perhaps followed an intuition that told us to compliment the woman in the gym who wears the Wonder Woman tank and has been completing her laps in record time.  (Yes, I pay attention.) Or maybe it's listening to that soft urging to call my sister and ask how she's been.  Maybe it's to throw the concept of being Mindful out to you- so that you won't miss out on what this day has to offer with all it's surprises and wistful dreams.  We can be mindful together...as long as it's with the understanding I called the tattoo first!

  I'd love to hear what being Mindful means to you- feel free to leave a comment.  You can even picture that you're tracing a note with your finger on my wintry salt-crusted van...if it's longer than the average "wash me" you may want to pretend I've left a scroll of paper  with a pencil dangling from a twine cord for you to leave me a note...  if you have any desire to write on your face with marker- I'll even loan you the word Mindful--though just for today- however, if you should choose to do this...please post a picture as well.

Scare with a Silver Lining

  "Sus, there's no silver lining in this!"  These were the words delivered by my husband after the police officer left our house on Saturday evening. 

  My oldest son was the victim of a scam perpetrated by a drifter coming to our house while my eldest was home alone.  This stranger first craftily discovered that we weren't home then wove a tale depicting himself as a contractor who had recently spoken with my husband, who is a contractor by trade and had his truck with his logo parked out front.  He proceeded to paint the hard-luck picture that he had been towed through no fault of his own and needed $34 to get his truck back.  With the belief  this man was an acquaintance of his Dad and would return the borrowed money plus extra for inconvenience, my son decided to help this man.  He allowed the stranger in his car and drove him to the bank where he was further swindled into "just in case of taxes" money equaling a total of $50 of my son's hard-earned wages.  Out of the goodness of his heart my son then offered to drive this man to get his non-existent truck.  Thankfully, he declined with declarations of gratitude and "you've helped me out so much, man." 

  You can imagine that my jaw dropped incrementally with each frightening detail  until it hovered just above my kneecaps.

   After the police had been summoned (and recognized- turned out our officer was a relative of a relative...small world), reports taken of this 6'1", very well mannered man with a beard the drifter was located.  Of course he lied again- saying he'd return the money in the morning once his parents wired him funds.  Sad to say there was no resolution.  Legally there was nothing the police could do.  Our son had "willingly" handed money to this man.

  My son was angered at the thought of his lost funds.  My husband was horrified that this man had the audacity to come on our property and approach our child.  I couldn't stop the trailer of horrific "could-have happened" video from playing through my mind.  This scammer was in a car...alone...with my son- who drove him to a bank and used his debit card to withdraw money and hand it over.

  I hate that my son's trusting acceptance has been tarnished if not obliterated.  However, if he had to be swindled, at least it was in a non-violent manner that could perhaps stop him from being so gullible and hurt in the future.  The silver lining was in the golden cast of our son's Guardian Angel that answered the door with him and wrapped those wings around him on the drive to the bank and nudged that man on his way instead of accepting a ride elsewhere.  I am grateful this lesson on the hard-knocks of life cost  mere dollars, anger, frustration, and lost trust...and not the stuff of headlines that could have ruined us with tears for life.

  I share this with you to remind you to cover those you love with prayers for protection each and every day...and of course, to have those safety discussions that might prevent dangerous situations.  If there must be tough lessons learned...would that they be learned from "nice" bad guys.