A beautiful Merry Christmas Season to you all! We are in the phase of this holiday that brings a reminiscent picture to the mind of all that we had thought the festivity of this time of year might bring and are rounding the corner into a look forward at the New Year...
This year I am reveling in the fact that we are rounding the corner... Not gonna lie, the home run stretch of this calendar year has been grueling for my family. My husband, Steve, hurt his back right around the time the scent of sharpened pencils filled the air and big yellow school buses were making a re-appearance after a long summer. We went through a terrible crisis of not knowing if this injury was THE injury that would not only be the straw that broke the camel's back but might disable my husband's as well. Time would reveal that his injury was acute and not permanent but his doctor would dictate it was time to find something less stressful on Steve's frame than construction company he spent thirteen years building. Now, I don't want to focus on the fact that this was supposed to be MY year. After seventeen years of rearing seven children my youngest was making her scholastic debut by beginning pre-school. My family and friends had all asked, "Suz, what will you do with your time?" often enough that I had filled my mind with trips to the beach with easel and watercolors in tote, envisioned the toned physique that a free four-hour block five times a week could bring... if I hit the gym. The possibilities were endless.
However, my life-experience should have prepared me for the tough road being paved over my field of dreams. Don't get nervous-- I'm not going to have a pity party or throw a rant...I've already done that in private...buried under my covers...with a box of tissues....many times. Yes, while my poor aching hubby's back rested on the couch while healing and his work truck was laid to rest until our eldest could devote his teen angst-driven energy to making it road-worthy I was chauffeur to all, nurse to hubby, and had become the go-to gal for whatever needed answered, mended, cooked, fixed, etc. I have profound respect for the duties done by single parents. In the meantime, our faithful Big Blue Chariot decided to pitch a fit and resign from it's duty of carting up to 15 passengers. As a matter of fact, it flat out resigned without a moments notice and refused to carry even one passenger- which I felt was rude and insensitive.
With the healing and career change research underway the pressure was mounting and I began to borrow some of the worry that had plagued my husband with sleepless nights. Decisions needed to be made...life-changing, course-altering choices. Perhaps that didn't appear to bring us to our knees so our beautiful children thought they could help with that and decided to act their ages...in this profoundly entitled culture. Honestly, I can't even begin to share some of the "discussions" that I was subjected to...not necessarily involved in. They did not get the "no rant memo." I am pleasantly surprised I still have hair and the wrinkles that have been added to my face this year are deepened by loss of elasticity when one loses weight...that is a good thing right? Lie to me.
Anyway, interestingly enough...time does have a way of passing and bringing changes- like it or not. You can be grateful I didn't drag you through the painful details on a daily basis but can announce that Steve did get a job with the City. He's a few weeks into it so the awkward pangs of change are beginning to subside and he is chipper on most days when I pick him up in my NEW (to me) five passenger car! I know right? Dropping 10 passenger seats makes me feel like I'm slimming down in many areas of life.
I've learned first-hand and through real-life practicality that the season of Advent, which is the four weeks leading up to Christmas are a time of preparation and not a time to leap headfirst into the Christmas carols, and store ads. An income-halting injury followed by a jobs lag in pay tends to "help" one focus on patience and preparation. In retrospect, I can acknowledge these were GIFTS. Admittedly- these dips and valleys in our journey are not phases we would CHOOSE... yet, as a wise priest said, "I think when you are elderly- you will look back on this time and be grateful for all that came out of these difficulties...it will take some time- probably when you are old and gray." I appreciated that he acknowledged these WERE difficult times... as well as his assumption I would still have hair when I am old. The adage seems to prove true: That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. With all this "resistance training" that has naturally occurred, perhaps having free time to spend in a gym is overrated after all ;)
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