Linked In...Somehow

  With Thanksgiving a couple days away most people's thoughts drift to family, feasting, giving thanks, pumpkin pies and the like.  There is, however, a group that IS looking forward to all the aforementioned delights of the season...and yet, their focus has already shifted past the actual holiday.  Their heartbeat has already begun to quicken at the thought of the following Monday.  There's a subtle buzz of excited energy that seems to surround the die hards in this group, almost as if they're hearing a call in the close distance but must bide their time until they may answer.

  You very well could be related to this group.  Doesn't matter if you are a daughter, son, spouse, parent, cousin, grandchild or friend to one in this group.  If camouflage, antler rattling, binoculars, walkie-talkies, deer urine, or no-scent laundry soap have entered your home or conversations...you most likely are linked to this breed known as HUNTERS.  Perhaps YOU are the link in your family?

  I have vague memories of my Dad taking my brothers out in the vineyards and woods around this time of year for small game.  Those instances were so rare that I remember a feeling of surprise they knew how to hunt or that my father even owned a gun.  And yet, it wasn't until a few years ago, when I was given a DVD of my Dad's childhood that I learned of his passion for hunting with his family.  His joy was apparent in the black and white footage that captured several excursions with my uncles and people I don't know gathering before, during, and after triumphant hunts.  I grew up in a family of twelve children.  My Mom was in need of as much support and assistance as she could muster.  I've since come to understand that hunting from dusk to dawn was the first of many sacrifices my Dad would make over the years. 

Ironically,  I married a man who, I thought, was hardcore into nature.  Sure, he talked a great deal about animals and loved to take me for walks at his buddy's camp to "show me the beauty of the trails."  I simply had no comprehension of scouting.  I suppose I could have been a little more tuned in to the fact he had owned his own archery shop.  And while he seemed to have a real penchant for brown, green, and olive clothing it was the unusual liking for fluorescent orange which perhaps should have raised some serious questions in me.  There were the couple times I was caught off guard as he startled the heck out of me during one of our nature walks with a spot on crow call.  I remember giving him an awkward compliment on nailing the likeness as I let the question of what type of person learns the calls of the wild fly right out of my mind.   If my Sweetheart told me he was a HUNTER while we were dating it must have gone right over my head and out of my radar with regards to how it could possibly affect my life.  While dating, I realized this sincere, kind-eyed cutie was a man of few words.  Hindsight being 20/20, I NOW see how I greatly underestimated his phrase, "I like to hunt." My experience with hunters were the infrequent, random times my Dad and brothers went out with a gun to see what they could see.


  My accumulated information over the years now reflects my maturing knowledge on the topic.  Whereas, I was used to fall for the line, "Honey, we have to go most nights this week.  The season ends Saturday!"  I now know there is almost always something in season.  The main changes are merely the target and tools used to hit the target.  The urgency I once naively catered to has grown into a respectful, "Hey, babe do you mind if we go out tonight?  The ducks are flying."  The subtle change showing in the question mark. 

I have come to truly appreciate the meat in the freezer with seven of our own children.  I love that my husband has passed on this incredible survival skill to those of ours who want to learn.  Yes, there are a couple daughters in line to take the hunters safety class as well.  The balance of heavy work-load is shifting in these later years.  The babies in bibs I tended to during the hunts are growing into camouflage bibs, worn to scout and call in the deer they only heard about in their youth.

  I've noticed a trend that most hunters skipped a generation.  My husband learned from his grandfather since his mother was determined to never marry a hunter.  She had grown up in a house where hunting schedules inflicted a strain on her parents.  Hunting can be an undeniable passion.  Some might call it an addiction for those who answer the call.  I kind of got swept in before I knew what was happening.  My sacrifices of being the "hunting widow" throughout different seasons have mellowed into a joyful expectation of spending time with those who stay back.  That's been the tricky part.  One of my younger sons recently confessed the reason he stopped hunting with Dad was that I always took the other kids to the movies, out to eat, shopping, and visiting with cousins while they were gone.... 

 So, yeah,  I'm not gonna lie...I learned to be a woman of few words as I would tell my husband, "No, Hon, I don't mind if you take the older ones to go hunting for a long weekend."  Hey, they learn to call, scout, and track.  We learn to "adapt." ;)


 

 

Scare with a Silver Lining

  "Sus, there's no silver lining in this!"  These were the words delivered by my husband after the police officer left our house on Saturday evening. 

  My oldest son was the victim of a scam perpetrated by a drifter coming to our house while my eldest was home alone.  This stranger first craftily discovered that we weren't home then wove a tale depicting himself as a contractor who had recently spoken with my husband, who is a contractor by trade and had his truck with his logo parked out front.  He proceeded to paint the hard-luck picture that he had been towed through no fault of his own and needed $34 to get his truck back.  With the belief  this man was an acquaintance of his Dad and would return the borrowed money plus extra for inconvenience, my son decided to help this man.  He allowed the stranger in his car and drove him to the bank where he was further swindled into "just in case of taxes" money equaling a total of $50 of my son's hard-earned wages.  Out of the goodness of his heart my son then offered to drive this man to get his non-existent truck.  Thankfully, he declined with declarations of gratitude and "you've helped me out so much, man." 

  You can imagine that my jaw dropped incrementally with each frightening detail  until it hovered just above my kneecaps.

   After the police had been summoned (and recognized- turned out our officer was a relative of a relative...small world), reports taken of this 6'1", very well mannered man with a beard the drifter was located.  Of course he lied again- saying he'd return the money in the morning once his parents wired him funds.  Sad to say there was no resolution.  Legally there was nothing the police could do.  Our son had "willingly" handed money to this man.

  My son was angered at the thought of his lost funds.  My husband was horrified that this man had the audacity to come on our property and approach our child.  I couldn't stop the trailer of horrific "could-have happened" video from playing through my mind.  This scammer was in a car...alone...with my son- who drove him to a bank and used his debit card to withdraw money and hand it over.

  I hate that my son's trusting acceptance has been tarnished if not obliterated.  However, if he had to be swindled, at least it was in a non-violent manner that could perhaps stop him from being so gullible and hurt in the future.  The silver lining was in the golden cast of our son's Guardian Angel that answered the door with him and wrapped those wings around him on the drive to the bank and nudged that man on his way instead of accepting a ride elsewhere.  I am grateful this lesson on the hard-knocks of life cost  mere dollars, anger, frustration, and lost trust...and not the stuff of headlines that could have ruined us with tears for life.

  I share this with you to remind you to cover those you love with prayers for protection each and every day...and of course, to have those safety discussions that might prevent dangerous situations.  If there must be tough lessons learned...would that they be learned from "nice" bad guys.

Happy Thanksgiving!

  During our Thanksgiving meal (more like a feast!) we passed a candle around the table.  Each person present was given the opportunity to say what they were thankful for.  Family seemed to be the theme... 

  One by one- adults and children alike shared the bounty that flowed in their life.  I was moved by the numerous shout-outs to this big, huge, loving, welcoming, warm, crazy, fun FAMILY.

 There were giggles for the young-loves mentioned.  Tears accompanied the members we've lost.  Prayers for those gathered and others not able to join us.  We cheered our hosts and blessed the food...and dug in- to way more than the food.  Yes, we broke bread, sliced turkey, and doled out stuffing.  We also told tales, caught up on life, and cackled with hilarity.  

  Bellies were full and hearts overflowed with a chance to share a meal and time with those we love.


  May you have the profound blessing of being with those you love this Holiday Season- where Thanks is given for the many, many, MANY BLESSINGS that cover you and fill your life!

Fresh Start!!

Monday...some people think bleah...  Today, I am thinking~ fresh start to implementing all those brilliant ideas that I thought I might put into practice days, weeks, months ago.  I am digging out my to do lists of days gone by and crossing off the things I HAVE DONE (yahoo...congrats to me) and not giving up on those items left undone: Thank you letters, prayers to offer up, making my bed-perhaps this one is debatable, pictures to paint...  just a few itemized priorites to have slipped through the cracks. 
  My main objective is not to beat myself up over lost time, but to remember these things were important enough to make special note of and perhaps give them a second look. 
  For starters: it is never too late to say, "Thank you."  It may be too late to send the card you have already addressed and set aside unstamped for three years.  But "presto-change-o!," wave of the magic wand, and placement of original card in a bigger card or folded letter stating, "I came across this "thank you," and remembered how special that meal/party/kind word made me feel and thought the orignal sentiments were worth sending."- and you have a valid piece of mail STILL worth sending; simply magic.  I suppose the same is true of a memory we come across.  A kind gesture that went without a thank you... pull out a paper write down our memory and a thank you.  I suppose it would help to actually put the stamp on the addressed envelope and walk it to the mailbox before the next three years go by.  POINT IS...I always love getting sweet or kind notes in the mail (heck, anything that isn't a bill- even a shampoo sample can brighten my day :),) and perhaps others would too.  A shared memory of someone's kindness is always a good thing, and is not a bill.
  As for prayers to offer up...hmmm..."Dear Father of us all, as each moment presents itself, may we grasp the opportunity to spread Your Love and Kindness.  May we also remember to thank You for each ray of hope You send, article of clothing we own, morsel we eat which are, in and of themselves, a sign of Your Love for us.  Thank You, God,  for the fresh start that comes with every day...well, every minute.  We love You.  Help us to know You as You really are- not who we think You are.  Help us to love ourselves as You love us...not the broken way we try and love ourselves... Amen."
  Next on the list...I think I will go paint a picture of me making my bed.

Never too late for THANKS!

 Ah yes, Thanksgiving...  It was a beautiful day~  Sunny, with a hint of warmth.  I had such high hopes for the beautiful day that would enfold.  I even helped my five year old son fall asleep the nights leading up to this big day by telling him stories of what Thanksgiving would be like.  "Oooooh, the sky is still dark and Mama is sitting in the dim light in her robe with a pot of hot water boiling for hot chocolate,"  I had whispered to his closing eyelids.  At the mention of hot chocolate his eyes pop wide open and a huge grin appears.  "Then you walk softly down the steps and crawl into my lap," I tell him, "and we are the only two awake in the house.  We bake cinnamon rolls as the sun starts to come up and we giggle while we wait for the parade to start on t.v."


  Yes, that was a beautiful dream... Not a single bit of it came true but it was a lovely thought.  In reality, we all stayed up late the night before and I didn't have any hope of waking before the sun did.  However, my eleven year old son woke about 6:30 a.m and banged his way around the kitchen to make my husband and I breakfast in bed (another wonderful idea!).  As he delivered our eggs and coffee he announced, "See Mom!  I told you I'd wake you up early!"  The day then took off at an alarming rate as the other five woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I did remember to thank God that our 14 year old "hormonal tornado" had spent the night at a friends as his siblings kicked, yelled, cried, and grouched for the next two hours.  My husband croaked out that he was feeling horrible so it was on me to bring morale back to the troops.  Unfortunately, it's difficult to inspire others when your own crushed "cinnamon roll dreams" are laying in a tattered heap.


  Fresh air can bring about a total change in perspective!  I announced I was taking a walk and invited the whole surly crew to join me.  Two took me up on it...  Sure, I secretly craved alone time while I walked around our little triangle of a yard but I also know the endorphins could do my kids a world of good.  I'm sure chaos was still brewing and erupting inside as we lapped the yard (1 lap = 1/4 mile).  I began to process my bedtime story turned nightmare.  I'll be honest, I even despaired about what to write to inspire others to be thankful.  And then I remembered when I had called our parish priest a few years ago to wail, "Father, everything is going wrong in our lives!!"  I had a very legitimate list of complaints and had expected sympathy and a plan of action.  His first words to me brought me up short.  "First off Susan, not EVERYTHING, is wrong in your life.  Is your health gone?  Did your house burn down? Are your children still with you and well?"  He continued by telling me it's a deception to focus on all the things that are going bad because it takes our attention away from what is right.  "Susan,"  Fr. Larry said, "It's so important to start listing- OUT LOUD- the blessings in your life."  Never forget to focus on what is GOOD in your life was the message I got loud and clear.


  As I lapped my triangle I sifted through that conversation and started my new list.  The two children that went with me had trailed off to run and play with the neighbors dog and pogo stick ;)  The fresh air cleared more than their bad mood.  I was thankful for my new perspective.  I was thankful that the day wouldn't remain in the valley of fighting.  I was thankful for the TWO Thanksgiving feasts we'd be sharing with both sides of the family.  I was Thankful that we have such a large family (both immediate and extended). 


AND... I was thankful that I remembered to be THANKFUL!