Never too late for THANKS!

 Ah yes, Thanksgiving...  It was a beautiful day~  Sunny, with a hint of warmth.  I had such high hopes for the beautiful day that would enfold.  I even helped my five year old son fall asleep the nights leading up to this big day by telling him stories of what Thanksgiving would be like.  "Oooooh, the sky is still dark and Mama is sitting in the dim light in her robe with a pot of hot water boiling for hot chocolate,"  I had whispered to his closing eyelids.  At the mention of hot chocolate his eyes pop wide open and a huge grin appears.  "Then you walk softly down the steps and crawl into my lap," I tell him, "and we are the only two awake in the house.  We bake cinnamon rolls as the sun starts to come up and we giggle while we wait for the parade to start on t.v."


  Yes, that was a beautiful dream... Not a single bit of it came true but it was a lovely thought.  In reality, we all stayed up late the night before and I didn't have any hope of waking before the sun did.  However, my eleven year old son woke about 6:30 a.m and banged his way around the kitchen to make my husband and I breakfast in bed (another wonderful idea!).  As he delivered our eggs and coffee he announced, "See Mom!  I told you I'd wake you up early!"  The day then took off at an alarming rate as the other five woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I did remember to thank God that our 14 year old "hormonal tornado" had spent the night at a friends as his siblings kicked, yelled, cried, and grouched for the next two hours.  My husband croaked out that he was feeling horrible so it was on me to bring morale back to the troops.  Unfortunately, it's difficult to inspire others when your own crushed "cinnamon roll dreams" are laying in a tattered heap.


  Fresh air can bring about a total change in perspective!  I announced I was taking a walk and invited the whole surly crew to join me.  Two took me up on it...  Sure, I secretly craved alone time while I walked around our little triangle of a yard but I also know the endorphins could do my kids a world of good.  I'm sure chaos was still brewing and erupting inside as we lapped the yard (1 lap = 1/4 mile).  I began to process my bedtime story turned nightmare.  I'll be honest, I even despaired about what to write to inspire others to be thankful.  And then I remembered when I had called our parish priest a few years ago to wail, "Father, everything is going wrong in our lives!!"  I had a very legitimate list of complaints and had expected sympathy and a plan of action.  His first words to me brought me up short.  "First off Susan, not EVERYTHING, is wrong in your life.  Is your health gone?  Did your house burn down? Are your children still with you and well?"  He continued by telling me it's a deception to focus on all the things that are going bad because it takes our attention away from what is right.  "Susan,"  Fr. Larry said, "It's so important to start listing- OUT LOUD- the blessings in your life."  Never forget to focus on what is GOOD in your life was the message I got loud and clear.


  As I lapped my triangle I sifted through that conversation and started my new list.  The two children that went with me had trailed off to run and play with the neighbors dog and pogo stick ;)  The fresh air cleared more than their bad mood.  I was thankful for my new perspective.  I was thankful that the day wouldn't remain in the valley of fighting.  I was thankful for the TWO Thanksgiving feasts we'd be sharing with both sides of the family.  I was Thankful that we have such a large family (both immediate and extended). 


AND... I was thankful that I remembered to be THANKFUL!

Keep on Movin'

It's here! That feeling of mental clarity that makes all the difference in my day to day living AND understanding of what my greater purpose on this earth is...

Of course, I understand that I am wife and mother. Yes, I am aware that I am neighbor and friend... Somehow, what seems to keep slipping from my conciousness is that I was created with specific talents and desires. I need to keep up the process of excavation and keep bringing into light those things that help make up who I am.

This may seem like an abstract thought... however, I have heard that the tool of "free association" can help bring into clearer focus that central nugget of truth that can be so elusive. Who am I? What do I really want? Is it bad to ask these questions? I don't think so. I believe it It leads to greater self discovery. This in turn can be more freeing than captivating.

Am I afraid of failure...or success. What is my purpose...how can I achieve that purpose? Sometimes these questions hover around the perimeter of my consciousness...other times they shout so as to overcome the chaos my life has become.

In the still quiet-- when I have sought Him Who knows all and has created me with a specific purpose... that is when the focus becomes clear and answers are revealed. A certain Peace begins to slowly pervade my being and an odd type of energy radiates from my core out...often times I have the splotchy neck as witness this is happening.

I know it is important to work on this daily. I have found the key elements to remaining in this state of clarity is to first, spend time with the One Who created me. Second, remember that I have been created as an individual with separate talents and desires... seek those out. And finally, make and take the time to practice those skills and break down the desire into tiny steps that will ultimately lead to fulfillment of dreams.