Silence is Golden ... What color is Deafening Bedlam?

  Over the last few days I've been hitting the social media stuff pretty hard.  Facebook, e-mail, and...(I'm embarrassed to admit I don't know if the phone is considered social media or just outdated)...texting probably counts so I'll throw that in here too since I've done a lot.. hbu? 

  All this input has caused me to ... well, freak out a bit.  Please understand I have been living the "unseen life" of mothering for a decade and a half now and this sudden exposure of my life is a bit like walking into neon-bright sunshine after having been nestled in the shaded forest for eons.  I suppose my urge to "shut down" and hide today is a bit like the reaction of pupils contracting when a flashlight is pointed directly in the eye (as in a concussion test).  Eventually, the contracted pupil, as well as my flagging confidence, will expand to let more light in once it does not perceive itself as threatened.

  But for today, nerves on edge and wanting to flee to anonymity I headed to my favorite destination to walk: the nearby cemetery.  Strangely, this place holds no morbid fascination nor fear for me.  Instead, I appreciate the silence that soothes like a balm to my frenzied pace.  It's also hard to miss the fact that the stone markers I pass each lend quiet testimony to a life once lived -- but no longer.  They also serve as a reminder that "this too, shall pass."  There are no intrusive voices,  perhaps an occasional muted tone discussing which lot to mow next or where to plant the flowers.  There's an air of reverence and a gentle breeze that lifts my spirit and reminds me to press on and remember that I am not laid to rest yet.  I make eye contact with my beautiful blue-eyed daughter who's been riding along in her stroller and together we smile as a goose flies overhead honking for it's flight mates to wait up.  And just like that I am centered once again -- reminded to recognize the beauty that is right in front of me instead of training my eyes to the future.

  I will be back out to "play" with all my new friends soon, but for today I will soak up the silent comfort of the golden sunbeam drenching my shoulders in warmth and feel the paved road with each firm step I take leading me back home.  I will hold onto this golden silence as long as I'm able.  And ... I will imagine the day we've been told of -- when we shall meet more than Facebook friends...but all folks who have walked the face of the earth.  Can you imagine the fantastic stories we'll hear...of heroism and heartbreak.  We will have FOREVER to hear the intricate details from the perspective of legends and we'll discover the unsung tales of the quiet souls who helped shape eternal history...

But, again, what is in front of me instead of what is to come...Kids just got home from school;)

Assuming...

  On an Ash Wednesday, years ago I walked into the personnel dept. on the Navy base in Spain, where I was stationed.  The service man who came to the counter to assist me commented, "I don't understand why Catholics wear ashes to remind themselves of a dead God."  I could only deduce he had seen the ash smudged in the shape of a cross on my forehead.  "What?," I said taken a little by surprise.  "That's not why we wear these ashes."  "Look," he countered, "I'm a Catholic and I never got the whole ash thing or why you pray to statues."  "Well," I began, "the ashes aren't representing God... dead or alive.  They are to remind you, a human, of your own frail existance.  This world isn't forever- it's not our home.  There is a better world waiting and that's why the Priest says the words "man you are dust and to dust you shall return." while he places the ashes on our forehead."  "Oh...well I guess that makes more sense," said the man.  Then he followed with, "So, why do you pray to statues?"  I looked at him and shook my head..."I wouldn't want to be Catholic either if that's what I believed.  We don't pray to statues, they are reminders of those who have gone before us and can 1. Pray for us and 2. Help us get to heaven by the example they set."  I continued on to let him know these Saints are part of our family... the family we are all part of even here on earth (the Communion of Saints)  I bet you have a picture of some family members around your house- they are reminders of your relationship with them.  I then warned him, "If you go around telling other people this is what Catholics believe it not only hurts or stunts your own growth it will further division by turning other people away from the Truths Christ Himself gave us to help us get to Heaven."  I urged this guy to read up on what his faith ACTUALLY teaches and not to rely on what his understanding or memory passes down to him. For myself this was a good reminder to also learn more a about why I believe what I believe.
  AND NOW:  For anyone reading this who has ever been harmed, mislead, emotionally hurt or turned off by a friend, teacher, nun, priest, or even bystander who professes to be Catholic or gives any teaching expressed from the private view of one who is misguided by their own perception of what the Catholic Church teaches...please accept this humble apology from a member of the Catholic church, on behalf of the Real Love that seeks to be known, understood, and embraced as Truth within the Catholic faith.  We are but humans trying to evangelize using Truths passed down from our Creator.  Sometimes those Truths get jumbled in the same way when humans play the game "telephone" and start with one message to be whispered around the circle.  By the time that message gets back to the starting source it is often a mixed up, far-fetched version- sometimes not even close to the original words.  Please understand, when humans are involved, the occasion to error is great.  Do not let those errors deter you on your quest to find TRUTH.