Giving Up for Lent

 Lent began last Wednesday.  My Spring Break began this past Monday (though technically it began after my very last class on Friday). 

  I watched as many students in class raised their hand in response to the teacher asking how many are going somewhere warm for break.  I admit- though I quickly pondered the thought of sunny beaches, I really wasn't all that jealous.  I relish the thought of making progress on a few house projects.

 One of my Lenten callings during spring break was to get to daily Mass during the week.  The challenge being that my two youngest weren't feeling that same calling and Mass began before they catch the bus.  In order for me to be able attend they'd have to go with me.

  For the record, I am not one who's above bribing and this presented the perfect opportunity to try out the term "positive reinforcement" that has been a hot topic in my Psych 101 course.  Also for the record- donuts work like a charm.

  On the drive to our first morning Mass of the week, my young daughter and son were very receptive to talking about the whole concept of Lenten sacrifice.  We discussed how getting up a little earlier to be on time for Mass was a great thing to offer up.  It was at this point in the conversation as they were tossing ideas of offering up treats and privileges that my daughter said, "Well, I've already given up talking back to you, Mom."  To which I responded to my feisty first grader, "That's a very good thing for you to give up, Evie."  She was not done with the discussion until she blurted out, "I'm giving up being perfect!," in the most sincere tone.  I couldn't help but let out a laugh and tell her that is actually a very good idea.

  Evie made it through half the Mass before the wiggles began to get the best of her.  Barely able to contain herself she asked in a not-so-subtle hoarse whisper, "Is it time to go yet,?"  "No," I quietly returned with an added, "Shhhh," to keep her tone down because we were sitting directly behind three elderly, female, church-going regulars.  "But we're going to be late for school!" she whined.  I vehemently shook my head back and forth and pantomimed my finger to my lips hoping to silence her.  This did not get the desired effect as she insisted, "Time to go!"  I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, you gave this up for lent," to remind her of her intent to not talk back to me.  She was quick to reply in her not even close to quiet whisper, "No I didn't- I gave up being perfect."  I didn't count but I'm fairly certain all three sets of shoulders and sets of coiffed hair in front of us trembled slightly in an effort to either keep from sighing or hold in their laughter.  I chose to believe the latter.

  Over this past week I've also come to believe my daughter's proclamation to forgo perfection as sage advice to me.  For sure, this past week's Masses have been a real call for me to let go of any notion of being perfect and just hang on to the fact that we made it to church at all...let alone mostly on time after helping the older four with earlier school schedules catch their bus on time.  The three elderly ladies who were privy to this "whispered" conversation...normally would have been cause for perspiration to bead on my scrunched brow out of a need to keep my children behaved.  This week I let go of exceedingly high expectations and worry of others judgment and was grateful that we had this opportunity to be...simply that...just be in the presence of a God who understands because He made us and even said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Mathew 19:14). 

  I didn't get many house projects done this week- but that's ok, perfection is overrated anyway.  What a great Spring Break reminder. 


 

Assuming...

  On an Ash Wednesday, years ago I walked into the personnel dept. on the Navy base in Spain, where I was stationed.  The service man who came to the counter to assist me commented, "I don't understand why Catholics wear ashes to remind themselves of a dead God."  I could only deduce he had seen the ash smudged in the shape of a cross on my forehead.  "What?," I said taken a little by surprise.  "That's not why we wear these ashes."  "Look," he countered, "I'm a Catholic and I never got the whole ash thing or why you pray to statues."  "Well," I began, "the ashes aren't representing God... dead or alive.  They are to remind you, a human, of your own frail existance.  This world isn't forever- it's not our home.  There is a better world waiting and that's why the Priest says the words "man you are dust and to dust you shall return." while he places the ashes on our forehead."  "Oh...well I guess that makes more sense," said the man.  Then he followed with, "So, why do you pray to statues?"  I looked at him and shook my head..."I wouldn't want to be Catholic either if that's what I believed.  We don't pray to statues, they are reminders of those who have gone before us and can 1. Pray for us and 2. Help us get to heaven by the example they set."  I continued on to let him know these Saints are part of our family... the family we are all part of even here on earth (the Communion of Saints)  I bet you have a picture of some family members around your house- they are reminders of your relationship with them.  I then warned him, "If you go around telling other people this is what Catholics believe it not only hurts or stunts your own growth it will further division by turning other people away from the Truths Christ Himself gave us to help us get to Heaven."  I urged this guy to read up on what his faith ACTUALLY teaches and not to rely on what his understanding or memory passes down to him. For myself this was a good reminder to also learn more a about why I believe what I believe.
  AND NOW:  For anyone reading this who has ever been harmed, mislead, emotionally hurt or turned off by a friend, teacher, nun, priest, or even bystander who professes to be Catholic or gives any teaching expressed from the private view of one who is misguided by their own perception of what the Catholic Church teaches...please accept this humble apology from a member of the Catholic church, on behalf of the Real Love that seeks to be known, understood, and embraced as Truth within the Catholic faith.  We are but humans trying to evangelize using Truths passed down from our Creator.  Sometimes those Truths get jumbled in the same way when humans play the game "telephone" and start with one message to be whispered around the circle.  By the time that message gets back to the starting source it is often a mixed up, far-fetched version- sometimes not even close to the original words.  Please understand, when humans are involved, the occasion to error is great.  Do not let those errors deter you on your quest to find TRUTH.