Spring Is In The Air

  The sounds of summer are upon us...even if the weather is yet to catch up.  Through the closed, pane glass window comes the whine of a vigilant neighbor's lawnmower going to town on the Spring grass.  I, personally, am thrilled at our progress in this department- we bought a new lawnmower. Yes, the tags are still on it while the grass continues to inch it's way skyward, but this purchase signals our intent.

  More often than not I hear bursts of children's laughter through that same window indicating the air is warming up enough to lure them away from electronic devices and beckoning them to tear up the grass and good ol' fashioned dirt.  Maybe those tags can stay on the mower a bit longer...

  I've been treated to the long-awaited chorus of peepers over the last few weeks- though it's now a bit of a drive to hear them.  Not like in the past when we lived on 17 mostly wooded acres where every night was a full on symphony.  Peepers can always lift my spirit in a nod to my childhood, when dirt wasn't old fashioned- just fun.  Now, I'm sounding old as dirt...  In truth, that sound mixed with Spring's earthy scent breathes new life into my imagination.  Possibilities abound within this season.  Flowers are blooming while birds return in flocks.  Life seems to rebounding from laying dormant so long.

  I love that there are spectacular peculiarities within each season.  It's a reminder to embrace each one without wishing for the next.

Hmmm, this reminds me of a conversation with my sister about our children, on her son's 15th birthday.  We were marveling at how fast time has flown.  I shared a pearl of wisdom that was passed down to me years ago, during my angst over my oldest changing as he matured, "It is the parents that can not accept these changes that suffer the deepest empty nest depression.  Learn to embrace each season of life and you will be able to enjoy the change that comes. Then, it will be a natural progression to let go as children ready to leave the nest, rather than clinging so tightly to what once was."  I have found that tidbit to be a golden nugget.  

  When my children were all very young and close in age, I had to remind myself of the truth: it is possible to wish away the journey of life while rushing to the destination.  This was a challenge during the stage when I had three in diapers!  Or the time I opened my mini-van and realized all 5 back seats were fitted with car seats.  I've applied it to my my own progressing age- not getting hung up on what number of birthday I face.  I will only be this age once, might as well enjoy!  If this thought is lived out- there can be no regrets.

  Nature continues to guide and teach us about the intricacies of each numbered day...

 Enjoy each moment, with eyes wide open.  Live in the present and presents will be gifted.

The Sandwich Generation

  I've heard we are called the "Sandwich Generation."  Yes, those of us who have the honor, privilege, and hefty work load of caring for parents and children at the same time.

  It is an interesting place in life to exist.  The demands are tough yet the rewards are fulfilling.  To be able to care for your children and to care for those who cared for you while you were a child... it probably is poetic justice.  After all, you are being taught what sacrifices your parents made for you, in real time, as you make
those sacrifices for your own youngsters.

  My husband and I have discussed this very concept in our 5 minute meetings that are placed sporadically through the afternoon and evening.  We exchange thoughts on this topic in passing between running our kids to practice or heading to his parents house or the hospital to ensure they are fed and cared for.  We tend to pick up the conversation as we regroup during dinner prep or most likely dishes clean-up for our own children.  If I'm honest, lately it's been after the kids are tucked in bed that we have an opportunity to catch up on each other's day.  I pray, for his parents sake, that the in-depth care they currently require is temporary and once his mother has healed from her emergency surgery she will be able to do much more for herself.  She has always been so independent- she's like a different woman without her Polish, feistiness in full force.

  I don't know if it's the tone in the house that caused my youngest daughter, who is 6 years-old to look me in the eyes and tell me when she's grown up she will take care of Mommy and Daddy.  I don't quite know how I feel about that.  I suppose my response is a murky mixture of gratitude for a love so great, swirled with resistance to hinder her freedom, along with a hint of dreaded foreboding that we might actually need our children's care one day.

  Yes, the Sandwich Generation has a lot on their plate alongside a healthy dose of much to ponder about the past, present, and future.

Update

One funny side effect of going to school while my children do is the shared experience itself.  I no longer casually say, "I know you don't want to roll out of bed, get your rear in gear anyway!"  I now grumble along side them while we elbow each other in our fight for bathroom mirror prep time.  We're all in this together.

  Funny how diving into a shared experience can give a more insight into moments I used to pass judgment on.  Of course it makes sense- I'm living through similar experiences they face day in and day out.  I no longer chide about the dragging feet and forlorn faces on Monday mornings- I sympathize.  Yet, I am not as understanding about bad grades as I once was- I've been reminded of the need for hard work and I want to help my kids create great habits involving preparation and accomplishment.  If I can do it- they certainly can too.  My mantra of, "Turn OFF that stinkin' TV!," is heard more regularly now that I know what they are putting off in stall tactics.

  Over time, I will be curious to see what their memories of the time "Mom went back to school" bring about.  And there are days that I wonder if I will remember much of what currently feels like a foggy blur as I try to fit it all in and get it done.  My husband's parents have had recent serious health issues.  This has been effective in reminding me to: breathe, slow down, and remember what's important.  In the midst of the schedules, homework, and chaos I'm forced to face my own limitations and concede that when giving it your all- let my best be good enough.  If I am to succeed at this thing called school- then I must remember that the best education is within the school of LIFE.  At this stage in my life, the process of receiving a formal education must somehow blend with my, my husbands, and my children's lives- and not take center stage.  It is very sweet to witness how they do champion my efforts and pull together to allow me time to work.  It makes our play time that much more cherished.

So far, so good...albeit hectic and without much down time.  I know this too shall pass and soon it will be time to graduate- for my children and for me.  I've never been one to wish time or seasons of life away or to cling to certain ages.  I've sincerely tried to embrace each moment as it's lived, knowing it will only come my way once.  I think this is true for this unique time in my (though it's actually "our," since lives are entwined) life as well.

  Even with the end of the term nearing and finals breathing down my neck, I was blessed this afternoon to be able to visit my mother-in-law in the hospital, visit my oldest at his work, take a quick snuggly nap with my youngest, attend a son's lacrosse game, take two other sons shopping, treat one daughter to a big bag of m&m's for cleaning the house, and look through my jewelry with my oldest daughter for her formal dance tomorrow night.  I did get to give my husband a hug and kiss on the sideline at the game and I look forward to catching up on his day when he comes home from caring for his father.

  Life continues on while increasing in speed.  I find it a comfort to see my University's motto etched into the face of many a cornerstone around campus, reminding me: Carpe Diem!

Easter People

  Did you know there are 40 days in Lent but 50 days of Easter?  Alleluia- the time for somber reflection and sacrifice gives way to the JOY of the Resurrection!  During the Easter Vigil our Pastor, Fr. Larry Richards, reminded us of the importance of being a Resurrection people.  Though we will go through trials and sacrifice- that's not where our minds are to rest.  We are loved- that's what Easter is all about.

  On Good Friday, I was struggling with my son having a scheduled game, when I wanted him at the service with me.  I'm well aware there will be thoughts on both sides of this struggle.  I'll just say that a quick comment, "let go of the guilt!," from a supportive friend, was a balm that primed my heart for the message delivered during the Easter Vigil, "Live like you are loved!"  We were even encouraged to keep a log for 50 days revealing how we are loved: (i.e. Day 1: Today God showed His love for me by....)


  It's true that it's easy to have a self focus.  Easier yet, to let that focus fall on all we are doing wrong.  What if...it's not about us?  A novel idea, I know.  What a freeing, beautiful thought- that we are loved simply for being us...not for what we do.  Time to rest in the glory of His Love for us- and to turn to those around us and shower that love on them...just because they exist.
  
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) NAB

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Confirmation

Stevie and his sponsor, Aunt Teresa

“This is not a graduation,” the Bishop said to the congregation of Confirmation students and their family and friends, “but rather a beginning.”  Bishop Lawrence Persico was referring to the role of the Sacrament of Confirmation in the lives of these students, most of whom are Juniors in high school. 

  The typical method of religious education within Catholic American parishes is to gather weekly for an hour or two to discuss Faith and the teachings of the Church which have been inspired by the Holy Spirit and passed down from centuries of tradition.  The original educators learned from Jesus, Himself, and used word of mouth and writing to share matters of faith that ultimately changed the trajectory of their own lives and the world itself. 

All in God's time

  I was in eighth grade when I received this Sacrament which brings the fullness of the Holy Spirit’s power.  What’s interesting, is that power is not always fully expressed at that very moment of reception.  This is what the Bishop was referring to when he spoke to the assembled group which included my son, Stephen Jr., telling them this moment was just the beginning.  After all, the Apostle Paul is the rare person who was knocked off his horse by a flash of Light, and was instantaneously converted.  Most of us are invited to faith by the planting of seeds that will sprout over time.  Different people drop seeds of inspired words, thoughts, ideas, and encouragement over the years of our formation.  We are learning, growing, and cultivating these seeds over our lifetime.  

  So, even as some of these students may be internally celebrating with thoughts of “Yes!, No more religious ed. classes!”  It’s time for us as parents to rely on what has actually taken place. They did in fact receive the gift of the Holy Spirit and He can guide them on this journey more perfectly than our human efforts.  While it can be scary to let them grow and make decisions, this moment brought comfort.  The second of our seven children to reach this milestone.  As a parent- I am still sprouting, called to a new phase in my faith: learning to trust that God's call and timing are perfect.

Bishop Persico, Fr. Larry Richards and the St. Joseph's Bread of Life Confirmation Class of 2017

              Congratulations Stevie and all the newly Confirmed, on this new phase in YOUR life!