This is a letter I recently sent. It is edited to protect the identity of all involved except myself as the author. My purpose in sharing this letter is to: 1) Let you know these discussions are taking place in school- if not your school, then in neighboring schools and your children are witnessing and hearing things you'd never realize if they don't tell you. So, make sure you are talking (but listening more) to your child, then when the big stuff comes they already know you care. Knowing you care makes it easier to share.
2) Encourage you to get involved. Our children are learning EVERY day. It is your right, and dare I say duty, to help them process this changing world they live in. You hold the biggest role of influence in their lives. Regardless of your belief system and value structure- please don't hand that role over to others who are not as invested in your child as you are. Doing nothing is still making a choice...it is simply choosing to allow someone else to make the choice for you.
3) Oh, and you don't have to be mean to get your point across.
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Dear Teacher,
I am writing to you in regards to the discussions that were held on the topic of transgenders in the classroom. My child came home from school yesterday and needed to talk to me. My child shared that it had been explained in the classroom a fellow student will be legally changing their name and identifying themselves as the opposite sex from today on. A discussion had been held the day before, (date given), during which the general topic of transgenders was brought up. My guess is this topic was broached to prepare students for the announcement which was made the following day, (date given). I can appreciate you trying to assist this student in making the transition less awkward for all, yet I felt little concern was given to the parents, families, and caretakers of the fellow students hearing about this change.
I understand we live in a changing society and I am not addressing this student's choices, but rather the lack of involving us, as parents, in this discussion. This is not necessarily a school topic but rather a conversation involving values, morals and ethics which we would have appreciated being made aware of from you, as the primary educator within this classroom. We would have welcomed the opportunity to have open dialogue with our child before it was announced in the school setting. I don't know how much notice you were given, but feel at the very least a letter could have been sent home letting us know these discussions had taken place.
I have heard many times from our child and others that this class is a "family." I can respect the bond you are forging with this unifying mindset but ask that you would please respect our primary role as parents. Given that this is our child before they are your student we'd ask that you honor these boundaries and in moving forward, communicate with us before addressing the students as issues involving values, morals, and ethics are raised. I would greatly appreciate your response back ensuring you received this email and providing an action plan to establish greater parental involvement.
Sincerely,
Susan "Mama Bear" Yurkewicz
Susan "Mama Bear" Yurkewicz
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