It's a Marvelous night for a Moondance...

  I just got back from a mad-dash to the video store.  I may be the only person on the face of the earth still kowtowing to the almighty late-fee.  I was dreading this particular run because it was dark...and cold.  When it came time to face the dastardly time-crunch trek I ended up crouched over in the drivers-seat peering through a 1"x3" portal view of the road.  Of course tonight  would be frost's perfectly timed first appearance on my windshield this season. 

  It only took 3/4 of the trip there for the defroster to work it's magic and I was sitting tall again.  The cool temperature mixed with the elated surge of success I experienced as I launched the DVD through the return slot with one full minute to go sent me on my merry way wishing good will to all men.  As a matter of fact, I suddenly was not ready to rush right home.  I by-passed my Avenue and headed to the nearest convenience store for a late-night half cappuccino mixed with house blend coffee.  I don't know what I was thinking- except that the dread of the cold-night air had dissipated and left a holiday flare of anticipation.  I sipped my coffee while waiting for the red-light to change when low and behold the time-honored "Frosty the Snowman" began to play on my radio. Now I had the defroster, the coffee and visions of my kids building snowmen and sipping hot chocolate to warm me as I headed for home.

  This had been the perfect ten-minute fresh-aired adventure.  It gave me a whole new perspective from the haze I was in as I tucked my kids in then flew the coop to return the rented video.  Not bad return on an errand run.  I think I would have missed out on more than the $3.59 late fee had I skipped this dash from the ordinary into the chilled-wonder that seeps into our world the week before Thanksgiving.  As I prepare to head into the week making sure I have two pumpkin pies made for dessert at brother Stephen's house and two desserts ready for our feast at Bushia's (hubby's side) house...it's nice to know there is STILL so much to be thankful for in the seemingly ordinary--if I just take the time to breathe in and acknowledge my surroundings. +

HUG (by Diane Ghallager)

 (Guest Blogger Wednesday :)   My 1 yr old’s favorite book right now (thank you Aunt Chris!) is titled “Hug” – and that is the only word in the entire book.  It is an endearing story told mostly through illustrations about a little monkey named Bobo who watches the other jungle babies hugging their Mommies but can’t find his.  You can imagine his joy when he is reunited with his mother at the end.  A very simple yet real message.  We all need hugs and affection, probably more than lots of words.  I am not a big hugger by nature.  I have deep feelings for people but am not always comfortable expressing it externally.  That coupled with the craziness of life sometimes inhibits me from reaching out to my husband, children, family and friends in this physical display of affection.  Fortunately, my kids take after their Dad and are big snugglers.  I am so often in business mode and focus more on logistics when I am interacting with people instead of physically reaching out.  This may sound completely pathetic to some of you more touchy/feely types, but I have to sometimes mentally remind myself to hug my older children before I run out the door or stop my dinner prep to go greet my husband.  I will admit, my hugs come more naturally with my little ones who are so cuddly.  Though it is not my strong suit, I do believe in the importance of hugs and think they can often be the best medicine… and worth a thousand words.  After a recent Diocesan football championship game (we lost by 1 pt!), there was a poignant moment when the starting quarterback for our team walked over to his mother on the sidelines and simply hugged her.  I don’t know if words were exchanged, but they didn’t need to be.  He was deflated, and she comforted him with the best remedy a mother can offer… a hug. 

I wonder if this is why some people can find it more challenging to develop a more personal relationship with Jesus.  We like to hug flesh and blood which we cannot do with God in the ways we humans know and appreciate best.  Yes, we know He loves us.  He sends us signs and answers our prayers.  He speaks to us through others, and we receive Him in the Eucharist, but we can’t literally hug Him like we can those among us on earth.  My pastor encourages us after we receive communion to close our eyes and allow Jesus to hug us.  He does this at every Mass.  As a result, I try to do this with my kids – I ask them to sit and close their eyes and imagine Jesus hugging them.  With my 3 yr old, I will even take her upon my lap and suggest that she pretend I am Jesus who is hugging her…to help make it real and tangible and comforting.  I need to be able to hug Jesus, not talk at Him or complain or ask or thank.  Just hug.  And I need to allow Jesus to hug others through me, not just my 3 yr old sitting on my lap after communion.  Big, tough football players need hugs and little monkeys like the one in Elly’s favorite book do too.  Simple act and simple message with big results.  Just hug. :)

"HOLLAAA" FOR MOMS IN PICTURES!

  Susan is back!

  Hollaaa!  --slang for Holler...which is slang for "That's what I'm talkin bout!" ...which is the old "I know, right?  All of these statements represent the whole idea of a SHOUT OUT!  And for those of you who are still utilizing your ninth grade grammar books to comprise your English vocabulary...I don't know if I can help you...(now you're thinkin' WHATEV....which used to be Whatever!  See, I'm trying to be compassionate here.) 

  In the words of my two-year-old, "Mama, I was cryin' for you!"  And in similar words of my five-year-old "Where have you been, Mama?" 

  My answer---I honestly don't know.  I think somewhere between baby number one and baby number seven I spread myself too thin but refused to let go--Thank the good Lord!  These sentiments are coming from last nights experience of looking at past photos with my ten-year-old, eight-year-old, and five-year-old.  Of course their stall tactics of happening upon their manila folders of themselves worked.  How could I possibly resist the crooning of "Oh, look how chubby I was"?  It was much more darling coming from my son viewing himself as a baby than if I were reflecting on my ample figure after giving birth to said baby.  Laughing to myself at the innocent pleasure of viewing his roly-poly arms and dimpled smiles, I began to notice how few photos held my image.  I knew full-well the lack of my full-bodied existence was intentional--on my prideful part.  But as my son held up one professional picture wherein I was lifting him up and smiling an open-mouthed grin of selfless joy while I peered into his baby face he giggled and uttered, "Aaaaaaw!" 

  That said it all.

  He was seeing his Mama hold and love him.  He did not see the roundish arms that I could clearly recall being self-conscious about during the photographic sitting.  My eight-year old's eyes scanned the photo and his grin was evidence that he was taking in every single detail as his five-year-old brother was pouting aloud, "where are my baby pictures like that?"  That's a whole other story...

  I just read another mother's article about "staying in the picture" and tears rolled down my cheeks as I related to her words and emotions about embarrassment over unkempt hair and drooled on shirts that led to a desire to stay out of pictures in favor of letting the "cuter subjects" be photographed.  How ironic to look at these photos last evening and then have this mother, unknown to me,  reach across cyber space to affirm the importance of allowing our Love to be photographed throughout the years.

  Like slang, which has the ability to morph overnight, our bodies, as mothers,  can dramatically shape-shift over the years-- perhaps this is our superhero "gift".  Superman flew, Spiderman shot web and slung himself from towering heights, and  Batman--well, he had a cool car and an awesome toolbelt (Wham!).  A mother's body can stretch to accomodate a new human life and "pillow" that young life with a soft and curvy comfort to soothe away hunger, scrapes, and hurt feelings.  I know there are other female superheros out there...though currentlyt I can only envision Wonder Woman in her tight corset and high-heeled boots..."WHATEV.."!  I didn't have a cape on in the photo when I held up my son and smiled my love into his sweetie, kissy, lubby baby face...but I did have my Mama heart pinned on my sleeve...and all was good in his world as he viewed that seven-years later.  His mama loved him then, loves him still.  I think I'll go find my daughter and kiss her in front of the camera in all my mismatched sock, frizzy-haired glory--I know, right?!?

You Can't Always Get What You Want (by Diane Gallagher)

 (Guest Blogger Wednesday :) I want to get a massage.  I need to get my hair cut.  Both require money (in varying amounts), babysitting arrangements and planning (pitiful to say that it takes planning for me to get my haircut, but that is my reality) but the former is something I can live without while the latter is a necessity for me. These are obvious examples, but sometimes it can be a little trickier to distinguish between a want and a need.  I remember a friend of mine from years gone by who used to challenge me if I would use the word “need” incorrectly. “I NEED to go shopping for a new bathing suit.”  He would reply, “You NEED a new bathing suit?  Or do you WANT one?”  Needless to say, that would annoy the heck out of me sometimes, but it did make me stop and think.  I would like to do a better job for myself and my children in distinguishing between the two on a daily basis … And maybe only fulfilling the wants when it is peaceful, financially and physically.  If we refer to the tried and true “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs,” we all know what it is we really need:  food, shelter, security, love.  Not a ski club membership, splash lagoon birthday party, or an ipod touch.  It is a wonderful perk when we can give our children something that they want beyond what they need, but it can actually be a helpful tool in growing up to be told “no” and learn how to accept it gracefully.  I detest saying “no” to my kids when it is something I know they really want. Not a strong suit of mine.  I will admit, however, that when I do find I have to deny them, you may hear me singing the refrain to “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” while they are whining about the unfairness of life or how depressed they are.  Like I have reiterated in past blogs, the best I can do is try to pray that God will help me to know when prudence and denial are the answer or when a “want” can be fulfilled.  My husband has a tendency to respond with a quick “no” while I swing to the other side of the pendulum with a hearty “yes”… and then we find the right answer (I hope) somewhere in between.

As I mentioned above, I sometimes have a similar struggle in determining my personal wants and needs, not just those of my children.   What do I need each day and what do I want?  The other afternoon, I had an hour before children came home from school and my two “babies” at home were sleeping.  AWWWW …. What to do during this time of peace and quiet?  I could play “Words with Friends”, exercise, do laundry,  start calling room parents (one of my new PTO duties) OR make dinner.  Bummer.  I have to make dinner.  That is what absolutely has to happen right now.  That fulfills a need for my family.  It is not fun.  I can even get irritated that this is how I have to spend my quiet time when there are so many alternatives.  But by doing this mundane task now, I will be better prepared to enter into homework, football preparation, and taxiing my children around this evening, knowing we have a substantial meal at home (that they can scarf down and complain about) in between.  God is so good at meeting my needs as well, but not always my wants.  My youngest was napping and I was making meatballs (a different scenario from aforementioned one).  I muttered under my breath that I hoped Elly slept until I was done because my hands were covered in raw hamburger, and I wanted to get the meatballs cooking. As soon as I finished, I began the arduous task of cleaning up the kitchen when I heard the baby begin to cry.  One of my sons was in the kitchen with me.  When I sighed and said, “I wanted to get these dishes washed before she woke,” he smirked and said “Mom, you can’t always get what you want.  But you got what you needed.”  He was right.  Dinner was cooking on the stove.  Yes, the kitchen was not cleaned but it didn’t need to be…. yet.  All in good time.  All in God’s time.  I do believe He cares about the little things.  I am not saying He reaches down and makes my baby sleep longer or wake up early just to test me (though He can)… He does allow nature to take its course.  But I believe He might nudge me to make a choice or perform a task that He knows would be most peaceful for my family and myself if I allow Him to be part of my daily life.  And I definitely believe that He gives me just what I need whether it is a sleeping baby or the grace to accept disruptions.  The Israelites got manna in the desert though they probably would have preferred a gourmet lamb. My kids want a trip to Disney but just might have to accept a week of camping in Cook Forest.  No, we can’t always get what we want.  Thank goodness. 

TRIUMPH (The book formerly known as Great Is Thy Faithfulness)

  Wanted to address the name change of my book.  The title: formerly, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, is now Triumph (play on the Tri from Trisomy 18). 

  What an amazing journey this writing and publishing process has been.  I feel I've metamorphosed from a woman viewing the world from my broken hearted perch...waaay up in the trees somewhere to a woman fully engaged in getting the story right while interacting with humanity again.  I am not only desiring the transition from my place of brokenness to the healed heart offering learned insights,  I am actively involved---holding a blazing torch these days.  My goal is to ignite an understanding that HOPE can be found in the seemingly darkest moments if there is a will to seek a greater meaning...and there is much to be gained from the pain that was formerly paralyzing.

 The update on this whole process:  I've met, fell in love with, and accepted the cover design!!  So excited for the big reveal (stay tuned)!  The guts of the book are in the very capable hands of the page-layout designer.  She had been waiting very patiently while amazing folk were at work editing and re-editing, and re-editing, and then re-editi..on and on---the good news is the FINAL edit has been received and accepted.  This is PROGRESS, people!  Totally rejoicing over here..invite you to do the same.  I will let you know the status of TRIUMPH as further progress is made!

Thanks for all the prayers---Please keep 'em coming!