Welcome!

Welcome TRIUMPH Fans!

Come rest at Harborlily Creative - an oasis for travelers on this journey called life. This is a place to be refreshed, renewed and inspired. A CREATIVE and cathartic zone promoting inspiration and creativity in others.

Click here to "Like" us on facebook!


Friday, January 31, 2014

Frozen

FROZEN: It’s everywhere.  It’s captured the attention of the great, white Northeast as we are encapsulated within the “Polar Vortex.”  Its humor has attracted thousands of movie goers with the latest animated Disney movie to hit the big screen.  It has even wriggled deep into my very being … further than my skeletal structure which clatters with each brutal wind hurling itself against our windows.  Frozen has moved beyond making me cold…it has claimed my heart, emotions, and focus.  In my life I had become … FROZEN- stuck in a rut of inertia.

   Clearly, the weather had an effect on more than just my blue fingertips and visible steaming breath. Icy roads, two-hour school delays, school closings, and the biting winds were NOT the culprits behind my inability to think and move forward with ideas, joy, and a simplicity of being.  Deep within me I knew it was more than Seasonal Affect Disorder- a negative dip in emotions affected by lack of sunshine.  We are particularly prone to that disorder in the Lake Erie region.  I was rooted in place for sure … but this disorder was not at the root of what was blocking my way to progress.  Yes, it had affected my mood … but the scope of my deep-freeze was more than emotions.
Well then, what was going on?  Seriously, this question was plaguing me.  “What is wrong with me?” I can’t seem to get myself together … something is off kilter.
  I had recently experienced wonderful momentum of reaching people with the launch of my first book, TRIUMPH.  This current feeling of being stuck was a stark contrast with the last few months. “Now what?” and “DO SOMETHING!” shouted at me on an internal repetitive track that was at once deafening and exhausting. 

  That was it … I was weary.

   I had grown frustrated and tired of not seeing a clear path before me.  I had not noticed that I had daily piled on “one more thing” to my plate.  With each new struggle: problems with the kid’s school, bills needing to be paid, feeling helpless with terminally ill family members, argument within the home ... etc.  “Lord,” I pleaded, “If you just TELL me  what to do…I will do it.”  It was the nagging “Do Something,” and not having a clue what “something” was that was dragging me further into a murky state of unrest.

  Ironically, in the midst of this dredge I had conversed with different friends and offered a bit of advice from an experience that had always brought me peace.  I suggested they take a QUIET moment and JUST BE with a song that takes them out of themselves.  “Don’t ask God for anything,” I had said, “just tell Him “I am here.”  Remember, He’s never stopped being there for you- this is just you saying here I am. And then let go … listen to His response.”
 
Last night I took my own advice … and the thaw began.   

  Weary from life and my own internal pest urging me on to something I could not grasp … I laid it down beside my frozen body, mind, and soul then turned up the song “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North.

 The ice which had held my heart captive melted and flowed from my eyes as I let go of my incessant need to DO SOMETHING … and trusted the Words of Be Still and Know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). 

  I was right … I had turned inward over the past few months.  As the external weather continued to chill I had tried to warm myself by my own sheer will.  I had used frenetic action- running from task to task to stay “warm” instead of seeking the Fire that burns in stillness and Peace.  The authority of I AM that IS, HAS BEEN, AND ALWAYS WILL BE had not moved … I had.  The further I strayed from His time frame of the seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall … the more confused I became.  I tried to set my own timing til I became frozen in a winter that lost sight of spring.

  Even as I look outside my window and see my garden covered in a blanket of chunky ice and snow … I know from years of experience that there is much going on beneath that frozen layer.  Even something as seemingly non-consequential as the breakdown of mulch which will bear fertile ground … is imperative if there is to be growth come Spring. I had merely lost sight.  I had forgotten the value of “just being.”  I had failed to trust that activity was happening beneath what I could see.  

  If and when you find yourself Frozen … find your song.  Allow your heart to soften and remember you need only to say … “Here I am.”  He’s been waiting for you.



No comments:

Post a Comment