"Giiiiirls," I want to roar to my daughters and niece loudly giggling upstairs, "go to SLEEP!" But I don't. I just sit here on the couch, tucked under my new Christmas gift- a heated fleece blanket, and listen to the symphony of gently competitive snores composed by my husband and chocolate lab pup. I watch what was once a roaring fire simmer down to winking embers and cast a lazy glance at the frozen screen on my t.v. Why, I wonder, would anyone want to watch the next episode of Shark Week on Netflix? Especially during the Christmas octave...what happened to all the sweet Holiday movies which accompanied the wee hours filled with wrapping and baking a mere week ago? I will keep this question to myself and allow my tired husband to peacefully snooze away lest he defend why he chose this as night time viewing pleasure to begin with.
However, on this particular night...at 11:45 p.m. when all is finally reaching a near state of calm in our home which houses 9 of us (plus said niece for the night) I prefer to sit and take in the sound of the furnace softly whirring, hear the water that runs as our soon to be 17 year-old brushes his teeth. I look over at the dangling foot of our ten-year old curled up, fast- asleep on the recliner (hey, it's vacation...and three of his siblings were allowed to fall asleep in our bed), and I am grateful for the ordinary moments.
This has been a holiday of the glorious mundane. I did not go out much. I did a gazillion loads of laundry and loaded the dishwasher countless times. I made several pots of hot chocolate to warm fingers that were numbed in soaked mittens now littering every inch of heater vent on the first floor...maybe the second floor as well. I picked up dozens of candy wrappers from now-flattened stockings and swept up more than a few broken ornaments- and I am Peaceful. I am content. I do not feel short-changed by viewing smiling faces from the Bahamas on Facebook and I can not even claim to feel ashamed that I did not get out family photos in Christmas cards...well, hope springs eternal...I still have a bit of time. I AM thankful for every card and photo that arrived in our mail- they put a smile on my face as I walked to the washing machine for the umpteenth time. I am happy to "just be" these days.
I am simply grateful that in my life, which feels precarious right now with my oldest sister fighting for her life against an incredibly progressed state of cancer and a brother-in-law battling to breathe due to cancer...I can have these rare moments that feel normal and PEACE-full. I know tomorrow is a new day with new beauties and different challenges...but THIS moment...this quiet time...is for reveling in. Even the giggling upstairs has mellowed to an occasional muffled "sshhh" above me.
Well, hello...what's this? My eldest son, done brushing his teeth pokes his head around the corner "Good night Mom." "Good night son, I love you." "So," he asks, "Have you given any thought to my birthday request?" Uuuum, I feel a bit like a deer in the headlights as I honestly cast around in my weary memory-bank but come up empty-handed. "Sorry honey, I'm drawing a blank here." He casts a glance toward his sleeping father and bravely reminds me, "about the tattoo? Ok...good night then, I'd like to talk with you and Dad together...soon." Siiigh...I was wise to revel in the Peace while I could. Well, perhaps I'm to realize in the scope of issues out there...this is small. And if he is the first of seven children...this will one day feel mundane. One day.
My faded fire has found it's second wind...the heater has kicked on again. I figure I must have strength and composure stored up in me somewhere. I'm sure my sister would give anything for a son's tattoo to to be the most dramatic thing she could imagine as opposed to her markers being "off the charts." I'd be willing to bet my heated fleece that my other sister would gladly tattoo "Alleluia" across her forehead if her husband could heal from this dreaded disease.
It is quiet again. Silent Night.
I am Peaceful. Holy Night.
I am grateful for the many blessings of this moment and for every grace I've been given to help me slow down and appreciate these very moments...where at present...All is Calm.
